1 00:01:07,524 --> 00:01:08,198 Yes? 2 00:01:08,534 --> 00:01:12,854 Hel-lo ma'am. We're going around town and offering snow-shoveling service. 3 00:01:13,124 --> 00:01:15,153 Would you like your driveway and sidewalk shoveled 4 00:01:15,154 --> 00:01:16,828 for eight thousand dollars? 5 00:01:17,004 --> 00:01:19,393 Oh well, I certainly could use some little snow-shovelers, 6 00:01:19,394 --> 00:01:21,703 but eight thousand dollars seems a little steep. 7 00:01:21,704 --> 00:01:23,143 How about ten dollars? 8 00:01:23,144 --> 00:01:26,365 Ooo, ouch, ma'am, please, let go of that tight grip you have on my balls! 9 00:01:26,366 --> 00:01:28,183 Ten dollars, you're breaking my balls, ma'am! 10 00:01:28,184 --> 00:01:29,703 How about fifteen dollars? 11 00:01:29,704 --> 00:01:32,335 It's a deal! All right, guys, let's get to work! 12 00:01:37,634 --> 00:01:39,143 Yeah, it's so totally awesome. 13 00:01:39,144 --> 00:01:41,949 Craig crapped his pants when he saw it. Yeah, sweet. 14 00:01:42,554 --> 00:01:45,564 So what's goin' on over there? Yeah, that's pretty cool. 15 00:01:46,804 --> 00:01:50,084 No way! He did not! Aw dude, that is so weak. 16 00:01:51,924 --> 00:01:52,642 What? 17 00:01:52,775 --> 00:01:54,763 You've been on your fucking phone since we started! 18 00:01:54,764 --> 00:01:55,803 Dude, I'm takin' a break. 19 00:01:55,804 --> 00:01:57,673 A break from what?! You haven't done anything! 20 00:01:57,674 --> 00:01:59,523 Kyle, how many times do we have to go through this? 21 00:01:59,524 --> 00:02:02,673 I'm the negotiator. I negotiate our price with the customers. 22 00:02:02,674 --> 00:02:04,433 All you ever do is talk about your balls! 23 00:02:04,434 --> 00:02:07,103 It works, doesn't it? Did I not just get us an extra five bucks? 24 00:02:07,104 --> 00:02:08,703 If you want your share of the money, then you're 25 00:02:08,704 --> 00:02:10,073 gonna shovel snow like the rest of us! 26 00:02:10,074 --> 00:02:13,444 Hey! Don't boss me around, you fuckin' Jew! I will kick your ass! 27 00:02:18,854 --> 00:02:21,073 Ma'am, do you have a rag and some bandages? 28 00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:22,733 Oh goodness, what happened? 29 00:02:22,734 --> 00:02:24,061 Shoveling accident. 30 00:02:24,484 --> 00:02:26,028 Oooh no, come on inside. 31 00:02:28,254 --> 00:02:30,320 Wait right here, I'll be right back. 32 00:02:31,104 --> 00:02:34,593 You're so lucky I have a... sore shoulder, Kyle, or I'd totally let you have it. 33 00:02:34,594 --> 00:02:36,616 Cartman, just keep your mouth shut. 34 00:02:36,704 --> 00:02:39,363 This is breaking news. Here's Anchorman Aaron Brown. 35 00:02:39,364 --> 00:02:43,844 Incredible, absolutely amazing news today. A man from the future has come 36 00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:47,814 back in time and is in a government hospital after being hit by a car. 37 00:02:48,781 --> 00:02:49,499 Whoa. 38 00:02:49,809 --> 00:02:51,440 Christina Naylon has more. 39 00:02:51,457 --> 00:02:53,816 The news is incredible, Aaron. Experts and scientists have 40 00:02:53,817 --> 00:02:56,306 been with the man from the future for several hours now, 41 00:02:56,307 --> 00:02:59,373 and have been able to learn that he is from the year 3045. 42 00:02:59,477 --> 00:03:03,195 His condition is stable, and speculation continues as to why he has come. 43 00:03:03,387 --> 00:03:05,406 Has he come to deliver a cure for cancer? 44 00:03:05,407 --> 00:03:07,536 Or to fix something wrong with the past? 45 00:03:07,537 --> 00:03:09,626 Have to interrupt you there, Christina. Apparently, 46 00:03:09,627 --> 00:03:11,671 Brad Morgan is inside the base with breaking news. 47 00:03:11,672 --> 00:03:12,316 Brad? 48 00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:15,916 Aaron, the scientists have been able to communicate further and have uncovered 49 00:03:15,917 --> 00:03:19,230 that the man from one thousand years in the future has come to our time... 50 00:03:19,231 --> 00:03:21,314 looking for work. Now, uh he has said 51 00:03:21,315 --> 00:03:24,033 that the future is so overwhelmingly overpopulated 52 00:03:24,522 --> 00:03:26,605 that there are simply no jobs in his time, 53 00:03:26,606 --> 00:03:27,885 and so he built a time portal 54 00:03:27,886 --> 00:03:31,075 and has come back to 21st century America, uh to find a job here. 55 00:03:31,076 --> 00:03:34,298 Heheh, it's absolutely astounding. He came back here for work? 56 00:03:34,299 --> 00:03:35,718 Huh... that's right, Aaron. 57 00:03:35,719 --> 00:03:38,409 Hi-his plan is to get a job here, in our time, 58 00:03:38,479 --> 00:03:41,058 so that he can put the money he earns into a savings account, 59 00:03:41,059 --> 00:03:45,279 uh, which will earn interest, and by the year 3045 be worth billions of dollars, 60 00:03:45,699 --> 00:03:48,738 uh which of course in the future will be worth only hundres of dollars, 61 00:03:48,739 --> 00:03:50,800 but uh enough, he says, to feed his family. 62 00:03:50,801 --> 00:03:53,040 And now I understand we're going to Harrison Moore, uh, 63 00:03:53,041 --> 00:03:55,130 for an explanation on how the time portal works. 64 00:03:55,131 --> 00:03:56,023 Harrison? 65 00:03:56,208 --> 00:04:00,938 Aaron, I'm standing at the time border which scientists say follow Terminator rules. 66 00:04:01,388 --> 00:04:04,062 That is, it's one way only and you can't go back. 67 00:04:04,098 --> 00:04:06,990 This is in contrast, say, to Back To The Future rules, 68 00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:09,257 where back and forth is possible, and of course, 69 00:04:09,258 --> 00:04:11,715 Timerider rules, which are just plain silly. 70 00:04:11,808 --> 00:04:15,135 Anyway, it appears that the man from the future is here to stay. 71 00:04:17,708 --> 00:04:20,297 Mom, Dad! Did you see? They found a man from the future! 72 00:04:20,298 --> 00:04:22,237 We know, Stanley. We've been watching. 73 00:04:22,238 --> 00:04:25,197 If you're just joining us, a man from over two thousand years into 74 00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:28,633 the future has come through a one-way time portal looking for work. 75 00:04:28,634 --> 00:04:31,393 Uh, the President is expected to give an announcement at any time. 76 00:04:31,394 --> 00:04:33,823 Breaking news here at the time portal, Aaron. It appears 77 00:04:33,824 --> 00:04:36,672 that another person from the future has just arrived! 78 00:04:37,214 --> 00:04:40,473 It looks as if the job at Wendy's did work for the original immigrant; 79 00:04:40,474 --> 00:04:43,743 this second arrivee claims that man's family is now much better off, 80 00:04:43,744 --> 00:04:45,766 and wishes the same for his family. 81 00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:51,237 There you go. All set, sweetie? 82 00:04:51,389 --> 00:04:53,582 Mom, can we go try to see the people from the future? 83 00:04:53,583 --> 00:04:55,482 I have a bunch of questions I wanna ask 'em. 84 00:04:55,483 --> 00:04:58,512 I'm sure a lot of people do, hon. It's pretty exciting, isn't it? 85 00:04:58,513 --> 00:05:01,318 Now, you just get some sleep. You've had a busy day. 86 00:05:01,701 --> 00:05:02,894 Goodnight, sweetie. 87 00:05:02,895 --> 00:05:03,874 Night, Mom. 88 00:05:05,615 --> 00:05:08,965 Wow, two people from the future. How cool. 89 00:05:42,535 --> 00:05:43,209 Yes? 90 00:05:43,545 --> 00:05:46,854 Hello, Mrs. Landis. Would you like snow-shoveling service again today? 91 00:05:46,855 --> 00:05:50,705 Ooo, oh dear, I'm sorry boys, but I've already hired someone else to do it. 92 00:05:51,135 --> 00:05:52,070 What? Who? 93 00:05:52,075 --> 00:05:56,064 One of those immigrants from the future. He said he would do it for twenty-five cents. 94 00:05:56,065 --> 00:05:58,739 Twenty-five cents? Well that's not even worth it. 95 00:05:58,895 --> 00:06:01,700 All right guys, come on. Let's go to the next house. 96 00:06:02,775 --> 00:06:03,493 Dude. 97 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:09,833 Son of a bitch! 98 00:06:10,420 --> 00:06:13,996 Still more immigrants from the future arrived at the time border today, 99 00:06:13,997 --> 00:06:16,236 some even bringing their entire families. the purplish 100 00:06:16,237 --> 00:06:18,756 goo that they have on their bodies when they arrive is 101 00:06:18,757 --> 00:06:21,649 an ectoplasmic side effect of the time-travel process. 102 00:06:21,879 --> 00:06:23,978 This is all giving scientists a great opportunity to 103 00:06:23,979 --> 00:06:26,268 learn even more about American life in the future. 104 00:06:26,269 --> 00:06:27,858 Chris Holt joins us now. Chris? 105 00:06:27,859 --> 00:06:29,998 Yes, there are incredible things we're learning 106 00:06:29,999 --> 00:06:31,758 about Americans in the future, Aaron. 107 00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:33,564 It appears that in the future, 108 00:06:33,589 --> 00:06:37,589 Americans have evolved into a hairless uniform mix of all races. 109 00:06:38,149 --> 00:06:41,919 They are all one color, which is a yellowy light-brownish whitish color. 110 00:06:42,469 --> 00:06:45,317 Uh it seems race is no longer an issue in the future, 111 00:06:45,319 --> 00:06:47,948 because all ethnicities have mixed into one. Perhaps most 112 00:06:47,949 --> 00:06:50,754 interesting is how this has affected their language. 113 00:06:50,759 --> 00:06:54,059 The people in the future speak a complete mix of English, 114 00:06:54,279 --> 00:06:56,748 Chinese, Turkish and, indeed, all world languages, 115 00:06:56,749 --> 00:06:58,684 which sounds something like this: 116 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:01,986 Back to you, Aaron. 117 00:07:01,987 --> 00:07:05,676 Apparently the people from the future are having a pretty easy time finding work. 118 00:07:05,677 --> 00:07:07,626 Since they offer to work for such low wages, 119 00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:09,736 they're being hired all over America. 120 00:07:10,409 --> 00:07:12,866 This is bullcrap! I ain't standin' for this! 121 00:07:14,576 --> 00:07:16,689 All right, folks, my name is Darryl Weathers and 122 00:07:16,690 --> 00:07:19,017 I'm with the Construction Workers' Union. 123 00:07:19,050 --> 00:07:22,029 I work with a lot of fine men who have families to feed. 124 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:24,569 Now I don't know about you all, but we worked long and 125 00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:28,157 hard to get our pay up to a level where we could make a decent living. 126 00:07:28,270 --> 00:07:31,031 And now these people from the future are showin' up 127 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:33,888 and offerin' to do the same work for next to nothin'! 128 00:07:34,150 --> 00:07:35,477 They took our jobs! 129 00:07:38,933 --> 00:07:42,983 We're in the moving business! Fourteen years we've been workin' our butts off! 130 00:07:43,223 --> 00:07:46,192 Now these future folk come in and we can't get work nowhere! 131 00:07:46,193 --> 00:07:47,790 They took our jobs! 132 00:07:47,913 --> 00:07:49,283 They took your jobs! 133 00:07:50,813 --> 00:07:53,174 Well what about us in the fast-food business?! 134 00:07:53,175 --> 00:07:57,285 The restaurants are firing us 'cause the future people work for a lot less! 135 00:07:57,286 --> 00:07:59,310 They took our jobs! 136 00:07:59,426 --> 00:08:01,066 They took your jobs! 137 00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:07,012 It's affecting kids too! Me and my friends started our own snow-shoveling business. 138 00:08:07,013 --> 00:08:09,202 We were trying to be responsible and make money, you know? 139 00:08:09,203 --> 00:08:12,617 But then the people came along and, and now we're out of work too! 140 00:08:14,833 --> 00:08:16,278 Oh, they took our jobs! 141 00:08:16,279 --> 00:08:17,606 They took yer jobs! 142 00:08:51,051 --> 00:08:53,730 Stanley, it's almost eight o'clock. Where have you been? 143 00:08:53,731 --> 00:08:55,400 I was at a rally to protest all the immigrants 144 00:08:55,401 --> 00:08:57,728 from the future coming in and tryin' tuh- 145 00:08:58,065 --> 00:09:00,996 Oh yes, the laundry machine is down in the basement and our son is home. 146 00:09:00,997 --> 00:09:03,367 Could you please set the table for dinner? 147 00:09:04,863 --> 00:09:05,707 Who is that? 148 00:09:05,708 --> 00:09:07,755 That's our new housekeeper, Mrs. Gruhd. 149 00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:10,355 She's gonna help around the house on Tuesdays and Thursdays. 150 00:09:10,356 --> 00:09:12,205 And she'll do it for ten cents an hour. 151 00:09:12,206 --> 00:09:15,489 Oh, but that's the problem! Those goobacks are taking our jobs! 152 00:09:15,586 --> 00:09:16,304 What? 153 00:09:16,396 --> 00:09:17,331 Oh my God! 154 00:09:17,646 --> 00:09:20,656 Stan Marsh, how dare you use that time-bashing slur?! 155 00:09:21,156 --> 00:09:22,885 Who taught you to talk like that?! 156 00:09:22,886 --> 00:09:24,945 Well dude, they are taking people's jobs away. 157 00:09:24,946 --> 00:09:28,735 They're only taking the small menial jobs that nobody else really wants to do. 158 00:09:28,736 --> 00:09:29,932 I wanted my job! 159 00:09:30,276 --> 00:09:32,463 Hey, Stanley, you need to understand something: 160 00:09:32,464 --> 00:09:34,823 Those people from the future have had a hard life! 161 00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:37,846 Where they come from is dirty and overpopulated and poor! 162 00:09:38,024 --> 00:09:40,703 You can't even imagine the kind of depression they come from! 163 00:09:40,704 --> 00:09:42,713 So for us, who have everything sooo good, 164 00:09:42,714 --> 00:09:45,171 to judge them, is wrong! Do you understand?! 165 00:09:45,364 --> 00:09:47,683 Next time you think about calling them goobacks, 166 00:09:47,684 --> 00:09:49,321 you might just wanna stop for a second and think 167 00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:51,411 about how crappy the future really is! 168 00:09:51,412 --> 00:09:54,728 That's right! We're not raising our son to be an ignorant timecist. 169 00:09:54,729 --> 00:09:55,621 Timecist? 170 00:09:55,622 --> 00:09:57,308 You know, a racist, but against people from the- 171 00:09:57,309 --> 00:09:58,927 People from the future. Right, got it. 172 00:09:58,928 --> 00:10:02,994 All right, good. Now, let's all go eat some of Mrs. Gruhd's great future cooking. 173 00:10:03,658 --> 00:10:06,958 And now, here is Bill O'Reilly. 174 00:10:07,488 --> 00:10:10,158 Welcome welcome to the No-Spin Zone, all right? 175 00:10:10,198 --> 00:10:13,257 And what we're talkin' about today are the immigrants from the future. 176 00:10:13,258 --> 00:10:14,193 All right? 177 00:10:14,263 --> 00:10:16,337 Now, most people are more than happy to give a helping 178 00:10:16,338 --> 00:10:18,157 hand to these people who obviously need it. 179 00:10:18,158 --> 00:10:18,937 All right? 180 00:10:18,938 --> 00:10:22,609 But others are starting to say that the time portal should be closed off. 181 00:10:22,610 --> 00:10:23,397 All right? 182 00:10:23,398 --> 00:10:26,917 Now, I've got two guests with me tonight who have opposing views on the matter. 183 00:10:26,918 --> 00:10:30,148 On my right is pissed-off white-trash redneck conservative. 184 00:10:30,678 --> 00:10:32,347 Thanks for having me, Bill. 185 00:10:32,348 --> 00:10:35,198 And on my left is aging hippie liberal douche. 186 00:10:35,578 --> 00:10:36,336 Hello. 187 00:10:36,337 --> 00:10:38,306 Now, pissed-off redneck, you say we shouldn't 188 00:10:38,307 --> 00:10:40,386 allow anyone else through the time portal, 189 00:10:40,387 --> 00:10:41,192 aright? 190 00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:44,930 You're Goddamned right! These people from the future are takin' 191 00:10:44,931 --> 00:10:48,141 all the work away from us decent present-day Americans! 192 00:10:48,781 --> 00:10:50,771 They took our jobs! 193 00:10:51,111 --> 00:10:52,511 They took our jobs! 194 00:10:53,341 --> 00:10:55,851 Those jobs belong to people from the present! 195 00:10:56,311 --> 00:10:59,021 Aright. What say you, aging hippie liberal douche 196 00:10:59,521 --> 00:11:01,520 Heh it's typical for conservatives rednecks like 197 00:11:01,521 --> 00:11:03,950 these to view the immigrants as the problem, 198 00:11:03,951 --> 00:11:06,289 heh, but really, the problem is America. 199 00:11:06,290 --> 00:11:09,960 It is our greedy multinational corporations that keep everyone else in poverty. 200 00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:12,414 Your ancestors came to America as immigrants. What 201 00:11:12,415 --> 00:11:14,872 right do you have to turn these people away? 202 00:11:14,925 --> 00:11:16,773 Aright, redneck, your rebuttal? 203 00:11:18,815 --> 00:11:20,685 They took our jobs! 204 00:11:21,145 --> 00:11:22,585 They took our jobs! 205 00:11:23,085 --> 00:11:24,525 Too-kourderb! 206 00:11:27,575 --> 00:11:30,624 All right, children, the school board has mandated that I must 207 00:11:30,625 --> 00:11:33,778 now teach class in both present-day English and Futurespeak. 208 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:35,829 What?! 209 00:11:35,830 --> 00:11:38,873 So, with that in mind, let's continue our lessons on verbs. 210 00:11:38,874 --> 00:11:41,423 Remember that there are transitive verbs such as 211 00:11:41,424 --> 00:11:46,262 "The boy threw the red ball, " which in Futurespeak of course, is... 212 00:11:48,164 --> 00:11:49,708 Everyone say it with me? 213 00:11:55,243 --> 00:11:57,657 Aaand there are intransitive verbs, such as 214 00:11:58,163 --> 00:12:02,603 "The 11:15 bus from Denver arrived twelve hours late." 215 00:12:02,643 --> 00:12:05,396 Or in Futurespeak, "Vvut." 216 00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:07,532 "Vvut. " 217 00:12:08,064 --> 00:12:10,951 Dude, hold on! This is bullcrap! If they wanna live in our time, 218 00:12:10,952 --> 00:12:12,483 then they should learn our language! 219 00:12:12,484 --> 00:12:13,202 Yeah! 220 00:12:13,203 --> 00:12:13,963 That's right! 221 00:12:13,964 --> 00:12:17,083 Hey now, these immigrants have a right to retain their culture. 222 00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:19,163 Who are we to say our language is best? 223 00:12:19,164 --> 00:12:22,186 They deserve to have an education just as much as you do. 224 00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:24,503 Thank you, aging hippie liberal douche. 225 00:12:24,504 --> 00:12:25,483 You betcha. 226 00:12:26,924 --> 00:12:27,843 Timmih. 227 00:12:27,844 --> 00:12:31,084 Ok, now let's get back to it, kids. What kind of verb is this? 228 00:12:31,689 --> 00:12:35,859 "The sad girl puts balls in her mouth. " Or, in Futurespeak of course, 229 00:12:35,999 --> 00:12:37,939 "Gluch gligh balls glych gligh. " 230 00:12:39,226 --> 00:12:40,499 This is bullcrap! 231 00:12:42,046 --> 00:12:45,746 Listen up, everybody! We've just received a reply from our congressman. 232 00:12:47,605 --> 00:12:52,455 "Dear intolerant rednecks, we sympathize with you all losing your jobs. 233 00:12:53,085 --> 00:12:55,075 However, we feel your solution of 234 00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:59,095 shooting everyone who crosses the time border is inhumane. " 235 00:12:59,575 --> 00:13:00,144 What? 236 00:13:00,145 --> 00:13:01,190 That's ridiculous! 237 00:13:01,191 --> 00:13:01,700 They can't do that! 238 00:13:01,701 --> 00:13:03,115 That was a good idea! 239 00:13:03,271 --> 00:13:06,080 So it appears the government ain't gonna help us! 240 00:13:06,081 --> 00:13:08,929 Which means we gotta take matters into our own hands! 241 00:13:09,128 --> 00:13:14,478 The only way to stop people from the future is to stop the future from happening! 242 00:13:14,838 --> 00:13:17,388 Hey that's right! If there is no future, 243 00:13:17,404 --> 00:13:21,165 then there'll be no people from the future to come back and take our jobs! 244 00:13:21,278 --> 00:13:22,328 Take rjurbs 245 00:13:22,888 --> 00:13:27,618 All right! So, any ideas how we can stop the future from happening? 246 00:13:30,736 --> 00:13:35,015 How about we cause more global warming, so that in the future, 247 00:13:35,016 --> 00:13:39,566 the polar ice caps melt, and and it ushers in a new ice age? 248 00:13:42,616 --> 00:13:46,076 How the hell is global warming gonna cause an ice age?! 249 00:13:46,616 --> 00:13:49,416 Well you know, the... global warming could bring 250 00:13:49,456 --> 00:13:51,596 on like a climate shift or somethin'? 251 00:13:51,776 --> 00:13:54,436 Chet, you are a fuckin' retard, you know that?! 252 00:13:54,526 --> 00:13:56,461 Even if global warming were real, 253 00:13:56,806 --> 00:13:59,437 which all proven scientific data shows it isn't, 254 00:13:59,696 --> 00:14:02,936 it would take millions of years for a climate shift to happen! 255 00:14:03,016 --> 00:14:06,115 You think an ice age can just happen all of a sudden-like? 256 00:14:06,116 --> 00:14:08,125 Well I was just tryin' to be helpful. 257 00:14:08,126 --> 00:14:10,165 Well help yourself to a fuckin' science book, 258 00:14:10,166 --> 00:14:12,623 'cause you're talkin' like a fuckin' retard! 259 00:14:12,706 --> 00:14:16,293 Now, come on people, we've got to think! Damnit, they took our jaorbs! 260 00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:17,883 They took our jobs! 261 00:14:50,336 --> 00:14:51,228 Aw, dude. 262 00:14:52,306 --> 00:14:53,296 Gaur da'ka? 263 00:14:54,006 --> 00:14:56,463 Can you speak in present-day English please? 264 00:14:57,781 --> 00:14:59,794 Can I help... you? 265 00:15:00,740 --> 00:15:03,371 Uh yeah, I want a double cheeseburger and fries. 266 00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:06,360 Chicken sandwich? 267 00:15:07,220 --> 00:15:09,290 No, a double cheeseburger and fries! 268 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:11,189 A cheeg- fry? 269 00:15:11,190 --> 00:15:11,951 What?! 270 00:15:12,047 --> 00:15:12,919 A cheeg- fry? 271 00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:14,855 We can't understand you, asshole! 272 00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:20,863 Can I help you? 273 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:23,450 I'm trying to order a double cheeseburger! 274 00:15:23,980 --> 00:15:25,220 Chicken sandwich? 275 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:27,732 No, it's not a chicken sandwich! 276 00:15:27,744 --> 00:15:32,064 I want a Goddamned cheeseburger and some Goddamned fries you fucking goobacks! 277 00:15:32,874 --> 00:15:34,949 Stan Marsh! 278 00:15:35,385 --> 00:15:36,625 Aw-awwww. 279 00:15:38,825 --> 00:15:40,934 Come on, people, think! How are we gonna stop 280 00:15:40,935 --> 00:15:43,088 these immigrants from takin' our jobs! 281 00:15:43,265 --> 00:15:47,140 Hey, I got an idea. Uh maybe we should all take off all our clothes, 282 00:15:47,141 --> 00:15:50,841 scramble into a big pile and start gettin' gay with each other. 283 00:15:52,909 --> 00:15:54,509 Did you say "get gay"? 284 00:15:54,899 --> 00:15:57,682 Hey yeah. Well that's not a bad idea! 285 00:15:57,999 --> 00:15:59,282 What? Gettin' gay? 286 00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:02,088 Think about it: These people are from the future, right? 287 00:16:02,089 --> 00:16:04,308 Well, if we can git everyone to turn queer, 288 00:16:04,309 --> 00:16:06,598 then there won't be no children to have no children, 289 00:16:06,599 --> 00:16:09,752 and the people from the future won't exist to take our jobs! 290 00:16:11,386 --> 00:16:12,843 I ain't turnin' queer. 291 00:16:12,886 --> 00:16:16,006 You have to, Jimbo, or else we won't be able to stop them! 292 00:16:16,046 --> 00:16:17,329 They too 'r jaobs! 293 00:16:17,366 --> 00:16:19,026 Yeah, they took our jobs! 294 00:16:19,027 --> 00:16:20,136 Took our jobs! 295 00:16:20,826 --> 00:16:24,755 Let's go over to that part of town that all the future people moved into 296 00:16:24,756 --> 00:16:27,495 and start humpin' each other until they disappear! 297 00:16:27,496 --> 00:16:28,344 Come on! 298 00:16:30,539 --> 00:16:32,869 Come on! You want your jobs back or not?! 299 00:16:43,505 --> 00:16:47,195 All right, you future bastards! Think you can take our jubs?! 300 00:16:47,309 --> 00:16:49,599 Well, we'll show you! Come'ere, Earl! 301 00:16:53,297 --> 00:16:55,145 How do you like that, gooback?! 302 00:16:57,997 --> 00:16:59,280 Come on, you guys! 303 00:17:05,623 --> 00:17:08,252 Everyone who believes in America, join in with us! 304 00:17:08,253 --> 00:17:11,014 We're gonna make these future bastards nonexistent! 305 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,659 Aw, come on, Dad! How come I have to go to work with you? 306 00:17:17,660 --> 00:17:19,929 Because you're being grounded, Stanley! Now I don't wanna 307 00:17:19,930 --> 00:17:22,517 hear another word out of your intolerant mouth! 308 00:17:23,660 --> 00:17:27,291 You just sit right there, Stanley, and you thnk about what you've done! 309 00:17:28,310 --> 00:17:31,069 You'll find all the copiers and printers in the next room over and then uh- 310 00:17:31,070 --> 00:17:32,266 Hey, Mr. Nelson. 311 00:17:32,375 --> 00:17:35,515 Oh... R-Randy... Uh I'm surprised to see you here. 312 00:17:35,935 --> 00:17:37,354 Why? This is my office. 313 00:17:37,355 --> 00:17:41,303 Ooohh boy, didn't you get my phone message? Ooo, this is awkward. 314 00:17:41,304 --> 00:17:44,234 Well, the thing is, Randy, you've been- replaced. 315 00:17:45,085 --> 00:17:45,803 What? 316 00:17:45,804 --> 00:17:47,693 Well we found an immigrant from the future who knows 317 00:17:47,694 --> 00:17:49,723 geology and he offered to work for next to nothing. 318 00:17:49,724 --> 00:17:51,442 Uh, this is Mr. Glughgogawk. 319 00:17:52,053 --> 00:17:52,858 Gheglo. 320 00:17:53,793 --> 00:17:55,207 You can't be serious. 321 00:17:55,253 --> 00:17:58,113 I'm... sssorry, Randy. It's just, with all the budget cuts and all, 322 00:17:58,114 --> 00:18:00,643 we'll give you some time to clean out your desk. 323 00:18:00,644 --> 00:18:03,914 Follow me, Mr. Glughgogawk. I'll show you to the copy room. 324 00:18:07,070 --> 00:18:11,070 Oh my God. They took my jarb! 325 00:18:11,225 --> 00:18:12,552 They took yer jarb! 326 00:18:13,355 --> 00:18:14,377 This is CNN. 327 00:18:15,128 --> 00:18:18,585 Breaking news at the time border. We go now live to Harrison Moore. 328 00:18:18,970 --> 00:18:23,910 Aaron, I'm standing at the time border where some kind of mass protest has broken out. 329 00:18:24,050 --> 00:18:26,679 Hundreds of men who have lost their jobs to time 330 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:29,311 immigrants are here having sex with one another. 331 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,631 These men have apparently sucked and screwed their way across the state 332 00:18:33,670 --> 00:18:37,214 and are now here at the time border trying to get national attention. 333 00:18:37,330 --> 00:18:40,396 These unemployed men have been having sex for several days. 334 00:18:40,397 --> 00:18:42,957 Joining me is their spokesperson, Randy Marsh. 335 00:18:44,107 --> 00:18:46,955 Mr. Marsh, what exactly are you trying to accomplish? 336 00:18:47,358 --> 00:18:49,417 We're doing the only thing we can do. 337 00:18:49,418 --> 00:18:53,266 If our government is just gonna let anybody into our time who wants to come, 338 00:18:53,278 --> 00:18:55,617 then we have to take matters into our own hands. 339 00:18:55,618 --> 00:18:59,077 We're trying to turn everyone gay so that there are no future humans! 340 00:18:59,078 --> 00:19:00,926 Present-day America Number One! 341 00:19:00,978 --> 00:19:02,044 Yeah America! 342 00:19:02,118 --> 00:19:03,227 Take our jobs! 343 00:19:03,762 --> 00:19:05,771 Do you really think you can get enough people to 344 00:19:05,772 --> 00:19:08,186 turn gay to destroy the future of humanity? 345 00:19:08,636 --> 00:19:10,145 All we can do is try, Harrison. 346 00:19:10,146 --> 00:19:13,038 Trying to stop immigration is intolerant and ignorant. 347 00:19:13,885 --> 00:19:16,291 Those immigrants have a right to pursue happiness. 348 00:19:16,292 --> 00:19:18,749 Young man, what do you think about all this? 349 00:19:19,055 --> 00:19:22,624 I I think it's wrong to call them goobacks because they're no different from us. 350 00:19:22,625 --> 00:19:25,080 They're just humans trying to make their lives better. 351 00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:27,254 Look, it sucks that the immigrants' time is so crappy, 352 00:19:27,255 --> 00:19:30,034 but the cold hard truth is that if we let them all come back to our time, 353 00:19:30,035 --> 00:19:32,579 then it's just gonna make our time crappy too. 354 00:19:32,583 --> 00:19:35,011 Maybe the answer isn't trying to stop the future from happening, 355 00:19:35,012 --> 00:19:36,773 but making the future better. 356 00:19:38,402 --> 00:19:39,076 Huh? 357 00:19:39,336 --> 00:19:42,011 I mean, maybe if we all commit right now to working toward a better future, 358 00:19:42,012 --> 00:19:43,809 then, then the future won't be so bad, 359 00:19:43,810 --> 00:19:47,310 and, these immigrants won't need to come back here looking for work. 360 00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:52,103 Hey. He's right. If we build for a better future, 361 00:19:52,104 --> 00:19:54,014 the immigrants will stay there. 362 00:19:54,015 --> 00:19:57,575 Yeah. We've got to start working towards a brighter tomorrow. 363 00:19:57,885 --> 00:19:59,748 Well what are we waiting for? 364 00:20:03,775 --> 00:20:08,125 We've got to work for a better future, we've got to join hands for tomorrow. 365 00:20:08,715 --> 00:20:13,035 Take the first step and you will see the future begins with you and me. 366 00:20:15,325 --> 00:20:19,855 We can start to make a difference if we want it for our children 367 00:20:20,005 --> 00:20:24,835 Recycle that can and plant that tree, 'cause the future begins with you and me. 368 00:20:25,795 --> 00:20:27,089 Look, it's working! 369 00:20:27,090 --> 00:20:29,365 The future begins with you and me. 370 00:20:29,538 --> 00:20:31,449 The immigrants are fadin' away! 371 00:20:31,562 --> 00:20:32,715 We're doing it! 372 00:20:33,372 --> 00:20:37,652 We've got to work for a better future, we've got to join hands for tomorrow. 373 00:20:38,272 --> 00:20:40,471 Take the first step and you will see the future- 374 00:20:40,472 --> 00:20:42,886 Dude, wait wait ho, hold on. Wait a second. 375 00:20:43,254 --> 00:20:44,276 This is gay. 376 00:20:44,328 --> 00:20:45,557 This is really gay. 377 00:20:45,558 --> 00:20:47,167 Yeah, this is even gayer than all the men getting 378 00:20:47,168 --> 00:20:49,463 in a big pile and having sex with each other. 379 00:20:49,464 --> 00:20:52,095 Ok, sorry, my bad, e- everyone back in the pile. 380 00:20:52,184 --> 00:20:53,643 Back in the pile everyone! 381 00:20:53,644 --> 00:20:54,772 We're going back to the pile. 382 00:20:54,773 --> 00:20:55,382 Jump in! 383 00:20:55,383 --> 00:20:55,952 Come on, everybody! 384 00:20:55,953 --> 00:20:57,711 Never mind, we're going back to the pile! 385 00:20:57,712 --> 00:20:58,778 Took ur jurb!