1 00:00:00,100 --> 00:00:02,083 Due to this week's tragic events in Hawaii the "Lemmiwinks" 2 00:00:02,216 --> 00:00:04,783 episode of South Park will not be shown tonight 3 00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:09,375 Instead, we present the all new and slightly better episode, AWESOM-O. 4 00:00:15,208 --> 00:00:30,421 AWESOM-O 5 00:00:52,217 --> 00:00:52,898 What the heck? 6 00:00:53,086 --> 00:00:54,729 Whoa! What a huge package! 7 00:00:55,303 --> 00:00:59,529 " To Butters Stotch. " Oh boy ! It's for me ! It's for me !! 8 00:00:59,884 --> 00:01:02,385 "Sent from: Japan. Konichi-wa." 9 00:01:02,595 --> 00:01:04,877 Wow ! A package for me from Japan !! 10 00:01:05,958 --> 00:01:08,798 Wow, what can it be? My birthday isn't until September 11th. 11 00:01:10,192 --> 00:01:14,147 Oh boy ! I've never gotten a package this big ! I've always wanted to have a huge package. 12 00:01:22,359 --> 00:01:25,232 Greetings. I am the AWESOM-O 4000. 13 00:01:27,497 --> 00:01:28,646 Whoa... 14 00:01:29,270 --> 00:01:33,140 I have been sent from Japan to serve as your personal robot. 15 00:01:33,715 --> 00:01:36,385 You... you're my robot? 16 00:01:36,537 --> 00:01:38,886 Yes. I will be your new best friend. 17 00:01:39,173 --> 00:01:40,204 Oh wow ! 18 00:01:42,138 --> 00:01:45,214 Yep. That's right. He's a real live robot. He can walk and talk and everything. 19 00:01:45,417 --> 00:01:46,888 You're like the fourth kid I told already. 20 00:01:48,738 --> 00:01:51,020 Well I gotta go Dougie. My robot and I have stuff to do. 21 00:01:52,017 --> 00:01:53,471 Heheh, they're all so jealous ! 22 00:01:54,027 --> 00:01:57,813 I'm so glad you came into my life, AWESOM-O. You're the best friend a guy could have. 23 00:01:58,066 --> 00:02:03,305 Yes. You can trust AWESOM-O. In fact, you should tell AWESOM-O all your most personal secrets. 24 00:02:03,575 --> 00:02:07,108 AWESOM-O will not make fun of you or tell your secrets to other people and stuff. 25 00:02:07,649 --> 00:02:10,302 Hey yeah ! Well I can tell you anything, huh ? 26 00:02:10,737 --> 00:02:14,788 Well lessee... Well, for one, I have what's called a heziated colon 27 00:02:14,952 --> 00:02:16,996 which means I sometime can't control my sphincter. 28 00:02:17,340 --> 00:02:18,134 Could be. 29 00:02:18,844 --> 00:02:22,292 Well, nobody knows it, but sometimes I poop my pants, so I have to wear a diaper to school. 30 00:02:24,276 --> 00:02:25,240 You okay, AWESOM-O ? 31 00:02:25,527 --> 00:02:27,995 Yes. AWESOM-O is fine. Please go on. 32 00:02:28,206 --> 00:02:30,149 Well, I have to take medicine for it every day. 33 00:02:30,369 --> 00:02:32,921 It's a little suppository I have to ...put up my rectom. 34 00:02:34,137 --> 00:02:37,687 That, that's very interesting. Tell AWESOM-O more secrets. 35 00:02:37,940 --> 00:02:38,920 Hm, okay. Let's see 36 00:02:39,359 --> 00:02:43,027 Oh, my parents don't know, but sometimes I get picked on by this one kid at school. 37 00:02:43,196 --> 00:02:46,137 his name is Eric Cartman, and he always tries to play jokes on me and stuff. 38 00:02:46,456 --> 00:02:47,436 Oh, really ? 39 00:02:47,589 --> 00:02:49,921 Yeah. One time he made me think a meteor had hit the earth, 40 00:02:50,124 --> 00:02:52,575 and convinced me to stay down in a bomb shelter for three days. 41 00:02:52,786 --> 00:02:54,662 Heh. Wow, that sucks. 42 00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:58,515 Yeah. And then this other time, he pretended to be me on the phone to my dad 43 00:02:58,658 --> 00:03:01,363 and called him a pussy, so my dad came home and beat me. 44 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:04,395 Wow. Sounds like this Cartman kid is pretty smart. 45 00:03:04,564 --> 00:03:06,812 No, he's not smart ! He's just an asshole. 46 00:03:07,074 --> 00:03:09,609 And he's never gonna play on me ever again! 47 00:03:09,863 --> 00:03:11,367 Really ? You think so ? 48 00:03:11,737 --> 00:03:14,407 Well, guess what, Butters. I have a surprise for you. 49 00:03:14,509 --> 00:03:16,081 Yeah, and he's never gonna get me again! 50 00:03:16,250 --> 00:03:19,393 Cause what Cartman doesn't know is that I know one of his secrets ! 51 00:03:20,391 --> 00:03:20,745 What ? 52 00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:23,162 When Cartman is playing all alone in his backyard, 53 00:03:23,365 --> 00:03:26,272 he likes to dress up like Britney Spears and pretend he's her ! 54 00:03:26,508 --> 00:03:29,365 Hi sings and dances around with a life-sized cutout of Justin Timberlake. 55 00:03:31,188 --> 00:03:31,831 You saw that ? 56 00:03:32,354 --> 00:03:34,247 Yeah! And I videotaped him doing it ! 57 00:03:35,431 --> 00:03:37,560 - Nuh uh. I've got the whole thing on tape ! 58 00:03:37,736 --> 00:03:39,814 Even him making out with the Justin Timberlake cutout ! 59 00:03:40,495 --> 00:03:41,047 No way. 60 00:03:41,270 --> 00:03:45,286 Yeah ! And if Cartman ever messes with me again, I'm gonna show that video to everybody ! 61 00:03:45,487 --> 00:03:47,001 Then I'll lhave my revenge, boy howdy ! 62 00:03:48,234 --> 00:03:50,688 ...Um, where is this videotape, Butters ? 63 00:03:51,144 --> 00:03:53,244 Huh ? Oh, I dunno. It's around here somewhere. 64 00:03:53,427 --> 00:03:54,944 Hey ! So what do you wanna do now, AWESOM-O ? 65 00:03:55,293 --> 00:03:58,522 Uh, Butters, maybe you should give AWESOM-O the videotape ? 66 00:03:58,723 --> 00:03:59,228 How come ? 67 00:03:59,441 --> 00:04:02,891 Well, because... AWESOM-O can, like, back it up for you 68 00:04:03,041 --> 00:04:05,524 , and make copies and stuff. I am AWESOM-O. 69 00:04:05,728 --> 00:04:08,511 Oh, that's all right, AWESOM-O. Come on! I have a lot of things to teach you. 70 00:04:10,537 --> 00:04:11,806 Oh, son of a bitch ! 71 00:04:15,147 --> 00:04:17,941 Hey there have you heard about my robot friend ? 72 00:04:18,082 --> 00:04:20,971 He's metal and small and doesn't judge me at all. 73 00:04:21,049 --> 00:04:26,239 He's a cyberwired bundle of joy. My robot friend. 74 00:04:27,749 --> 00:04:30,626 I like to dip and daddle with my robot friend. 75 00:04:30,885 --> 00:04:33,727 He's smart as can be and emotion-free. 76 00:04:33,868 --> 00:04:39,398 And he's computin' his way to my heart. My robot friend. 77 00:04:39,593 --> 00:04:42,470 My robot friend. 78 00:04:42,611 --> 00:04:46,098 My robot friend. 79 00:04:46,216 --> 00:04:49,010 My robot friend. 80 00:04:50,151 --> 00:04:53,850 Ohhh, that's so cute. Did you see Butters and his friend Eric playing Robot. 81 00:04:54,038 --> 00:04:55,917 Yes. Those boys are quite imaginative. 82 00:04:56,011 --> 00:04:58,406 Leave it to them to find a fun way to do the dishes. 83 00:04:59,264 --> 00:05:00,309 That's great AWESOM-O! 84 00:05:00,415 --> 00:05:02,012 You can carry all my laundry in one trip! 85 00:05:02,238 --> 00:05:05,196 Ah, Buttters, it's getting late. You should be getting ready for bed soon 86 00:05:05,502 --> 00:05:07,544 Okay Mom. Well, come on, AWESOM-O. Bedtime. 87 00:05:07,709 --> 00:05:09,798 Oh, is your little robot friend staying the night? 88 00:05:09,939 --> 00:05:12,217 Well of course he is. He's my robot, ain't he? 89 00:05:12,389 --> 00:05:14,456 That's okay with your mom, Mr. Robot? 90 00:05:14,620 --> 00:05:16,170 AWESOM-O does not have a mom. 91 00:05:16,381 --> 00:05:17,907 Yup! Don't you know nothin' about robot? 92 00:05:18,165 --> 00:05:19,926 Come on, AWESOM-O! You can put my laundry away! 93 00:05:21,129 --> 00:05:22,608 Aww, that's just adorable. 94 00:05:22,819 --> 00:05:25,402 It's good to see Butters finally have a friend that wants to stay over. 95 00:05:26,881 --> 00:05:29,417 I like to brush my teeth in the morning and at night. 96 00:05:29,652 --> 00:05:32,469 The teeth won't mind .. Jesus Christ I can't go on like this. 97 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:37,264 Butters, remember when you said you had a video of Eric Cartman dressed like Britney Spears? 98 00:05:37,687 --> 00:05:38,767 Oh. Yeah. 99 00:05:39,143 --> 00:05:40,622 I would like to see what he looks like 100 00:05:40,739 --> 00:05:42,289 so I can beat him up for you. 101 00:05:42,618 --> 00:05:43,745 May I see the video? 102 00:05:43,890 --> 00:05:45,440 Awww, you don't need to do that, AWESOM-O. 103 00:05:45,604 --> 00:05:47,811 Hey, I gotta put in my suppository. Can you help me? 104 00:05:48,328 --> 00:05:48,845 What? 105 00:05:49,525 --> 00:05:52,320 Remember I said I put that medicinal suppository in my anus? 106 00:05:52,484 --> 00:05:54,503 It'll be so much easier havin' you do it from now on. 107 00:05:54,742 --> 00:05:58,498 Um. Actually, AWESOM-O was not programmed for that function. 108 00:05:58,757 --> 00:06:00,565 Haw, it's real easy. I'll show you. 109 00:06:00,706 --> 00:06:03,617 You just take this little thingy out of the plastic... paper, and and I'll, 110 00:06:03,734 --> 00:06:06,693 I'll pull down my pants ... and just slide it up in my anus there. 111 00:06:08,247 --> 00:06:08,881 ...No way. 112 00:06:09,421 --> 00:06:11,699 AWESOM-O, I though you were programmed to do whatever I tell you. 113 00:06:12,943 --> 00:06:13,460 Weak! 114 00:06:15,010 --> 00:06:17,499 Yeyeah, that, that's pretty good. Get it up there good and deep. 115 00:06:17,921 --> 00:06:18,438 Lame! 116 00:06:19,189 --> 00:06:21,091 All right AWESOM-O, time for us to get some sleep. 117 00:06:21,635 --> 00:06:23,724 Hey, you want me to teach you some bedtime songs? 118 00:06:24,147 --> 00:06:27,833 If you leave me now, you'll take away the biggest part of me. 119 00:06:29,119 --> 00:06:32,735 AWESOM-O must rest! His CPU system overloading. 120 00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:35,838 Oh, o-o-all right AWESOM-O. Let's get us some shut-eye, 121 00:06:36,119 --> 00:06:37,611 or what, or whatever robots have. 122 00:06:53,941 --> 00:06:55,658 Where is it? Where is it?? 123 00:06:56,146 --> 00:06:59,504 AWESOM-O?? AWESOM-O, what the Sam Heck are you doing? 124 00:07:00,256 --> 00:07:03,532 Um, ah AWESOM-O is reorganizing your stuff for you. 125 00:07:04,012 --> 00:07:07,593 Aw Jeez Jeez Louise! My mom is gonna be awful sore when she sees this mess! 126 00:07:07,887 --> 00:07:09,730 Now AWESOM-O, that is a bad robot! 127 00:07:10,090 --> 00:07:12,896 You can't do no chores for me unless I tell you to do them! You got it?! 128 00:07:13,695 --> 00:07:14,869 AWESOM-O understands. 129 00:07:15,162 --> 00:07:18,274 Now I'm gonna have to give ya a spankin', AWESOM-O, so that you'll learn better! 130 00:07:20,789 --> 00:07:23,560 Just know, AWESOM-O, that I did it because I love you. 131 00:07:23,790 --> 00:07:25,390 Okay, come on, let's go make some breakfast. 132 00:07:26,856 --> 00:07:28,706 Goddamnit, I have to find that videotape! 133 00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:36,030 Look at that, AWESOM-O! I drew a picture of us playing in a field together. 134 00:07:37,136 --> 00:07:39,552 Ah I'll be right back. I'm gonna get some Sunny Delight. 135 00:07:39,919 --> 00:07:41,686 I would like some Sunny Delight too. 136 00:07:42,060 --> 00:07:46,376 Don't be silly, AWESOM-O. Robots don't need to drink nothin'. 137 00:07:46,776 --> 00:07:49,676 Whoa. Uh go answer the door, AWESOM-O. 138 00:07:50,008 --> 00:07:51,558 AWESOM-O will answers the door. 139 00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:56,208 What the hell are you doing, fatass? 140 00:07:56,372 --> 00:07:57,739 Dude, are you still pretending to be a robot? 141 00:07:58,772 --> 00:08:01,722 I just need to uh make Butters think I'm a robot for a little while longer. 142 00:08:02,572 --> 00:08:02,956 Why? 143 00:08:03,788 --> 00:08:07,821 Because I need to, all right?! I've got something planned that's uh gonna be really sweet. 144 00:08:08,013 --> 00:08:08,905 Just play along, okay? 145 00:08:09,832 --> 00:08:10,161 Why? 146 00:08:10,737 --> 00:08:13,378 Kyle, Goddamnit, will you just do-? Who's at the door, AWESOM-O? 147 00:08:16,421 --> 00:08:18,464 Three boys named Stan, Kyle, and Kenny. 148 00:08:19,075 --> 00:08:21,376 Ah, hey fellas! Ah I see you met my robot. 149 00:08:21,646 --> 00:08:24,182 Uh yeah, Butters, he's real cool. Hey he sure is! 150 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:27,601 Hey he sure is! We do everything together. Why last night we even had a slumber party. 151 00:08:29,132 --> 00:08:29,515 Weak. 152 00:08:30,131 --> 00:08:32,648 He can do anything I command him to. He's real smart. 153 00:08:32,731 --> 00:08:35,998 Watch this: hey AWESOM-O, will you go get my friends some Sunny Delight? 154 00:08:36,396 --> 00:08:37,262 Yes, of course. 155 00:08:40,278 --> 00:08:41,695 Oh wait. Hey AWESOM-O, 156 00:08:41,928 --> 00:08:44,111 I'd also like some celery sticks chopped up two inches long, 157 00:08:44,211 --> 00:08:45,561 with peanut butter and raisins on top. 158 00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:48,851 Suck mah balls, Kyle. 159 00:08:50,234 --> 00:08:51,634 He's made in Japan! 160 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,317 Yes, it has just been a delight having your son over, Mrs. Cartman. 161 00:08:56,450 --> 00:08:58,367 He and Butters are really getting along great. 162 00:08:58,690 --> 00:09:00,873 Oh, I'm so glad to hear it, Mrs. Stotch. 163 00:09:00,923 --> 00:09:02,890 Eric has been having some emotional problems lately. 164 00:09:03,005 --> 00:09:05,222 Well, the reason I'm calling is that Butters is supposed 165 00:09:05,289 --> 00:09:07,972 to go see his Aunt Nellie in Los Angeles this weekend. 166 00:09:08,072 --> 00:09:12,172 The boys are getting along so well that we were thinking of inviting Eric to go along. 167 00:09:12,504 --> 00:09:14,388 Oh, well, I'm not sure. 168 00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:16,653 Actually, Eric is still supposed to be grounded 169 00:09:16,737 --> 00:09:19,220 for trying to exterminate the Jews two weeks ago. 170 00:09:20,068 --> 00:09:21,568 Excuse me, I didn't catch that. 171 00:09:21,768 --> 00:09:23,568 Oh, but I suppose it would be good for him. 172 00:09:23,651 --> 00:09:28,351 Yes, of course he can go. I'll bring some of clothes over. 173 00:09:28,633 --> 00:09:31,099 Maybe he put that videotape in here somewhere. 174 00:09:31,266 --> 00:09:33,849 AWESOM-O, what are you doing? My friends are waiting for their beverages. 175 00:09:34,049 --> 00:09:34,583 Chop chop! 176 00:09:35,714 --> 00:09:37,131 Hey guys, great news! 177 00:09:37,264 --> 00:09:41,281 It's been arranged: you two are both going to Los Angeles to visit Butters' Aunt Nellie! 178 00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:44,589 Oh boy! My robot gets to come with me to see Aunt Nellie?! 179 00:09:44,654 --> 00:09:45,187 What? 180 00:09:45,254 --> 00:09:48,304 Oh boy, AWESOM-O! We're gonna have the best time ever! 181 00:09:48,386 --> 00:09:50,369 Lame. 182 00:09:54,717 --> 00:09:57,517 Hey Nellie, guess what I found scrampin' around the airport. 183 00:09:57,651 --> 00:09:58,717 Howdy Aunt Nellie! 184 00:09:58,891 --> 00:10:00,641 There's my little nephew! 185 00:10:00,775 --> 00:10:01,808 How was your flight? 186 00:10:02,041 --> 00:10:04,675 It was long. We had a three-hour delay ...departin' Denver, 187 00:10:04,815 --> 00:10:05,465 but we're here! 188 00:10:05,599 --> 00:10:06,665 Didn't ya bring any bags? 189 00:10:06,782 --> 00:10:08,749 Well, sure, but my robot is bringin' them in. 190 00:10:08,965 --> 00:10:09,749 Your robot? 191 00:10:10,155 --> 00:10:12,488 Butters' new friend is a little strange. 192 00:10:12,905 --> 00:10:15,188 He, he really takes playing Robot seriously. 193 00:10:18,203 --> 00:10:19,003 There he is! 194 00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:20,936 AWESOM-O, this is my Aunt Nellie. 195 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:22,953 Hello! It's nice to have you here. 196 00:10:23,202 --> 00:10:25,202 AWESOM-O must dispense oil waste. 197 00:10:25,569 --> 00:10:27,135 Where is the nearest toilet, please? 198 00:10:27,459 --> 00:10:29,293 Oh oh, right through there, Mr. Robot. 199 00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:30,193 Thank you. 200 00:10:31,724 --> 00:10:33,957 I don't think he took the costume off the entire trip. 201 00:10:34,407 --> 00:10:35,724 Well, did you wanna get right to sight-seeing, 202 00:10:35,791 --> 00:10:37,707 or are you guys hungry after such a long flight. 203 00:10:37,957 --> 00:10:39,374 Nah, I ate on the plane. 204 00:10:39,507 --> 00:10:41,341 And AWESOM-O is a robot, so he don't need to eat. 205 00:10:42,072 --> 00:10:42,789 Right... 206 00:10:56,371 --> 00:10:57,171 AWESOM-O? 207 00:10:58,375 --> 00:10:59,342 Aw-Aw-AWESOM-O is coming. 208 00:10:59,475 --> 00:11:01,725 Come on, AWESOM-O! We're gonna go a-sightseein'! 209 00:11:06,316 --> 00:11:08,966 I'm hangin' out in LA with my robot friend 210 00:11:09,061 --> 00:11:12,073 We're havin' such fun in the hot hot sun 211 00:11:12,167 --> 00:11:14,504 We're two of a kind- That's me! 212 00:11:14,643 --> 00:11:21,310 And my robot friend. My robot friend. 213 00:11:21,362 --> 00:11:23,399 My robot ...friend. 214 00:11:23,466 --> 00:11:25,880 Can you believe we're at a real live movie studio, AWESOM-O? 215 00:11:25,957 --> 00:11:27,264 Aren't we havin' the best time? 216 00:11:27,515 --> 00:11:30,405 Butters, wouldn't you like to have some time away from AWESOM-O? 217 00:11:30,593 --> 00:11:32,033 We could meet up later, perhaps? 218 00:11:32,211 --> 00:11:33,241 Hey, look over there, AWESOM-O. 219 00:11:33,418 --> 00:11:34,570 The film studio commissary. 220 00:11:34,659 --> 00:11:36,630 That's where all them rich movie producers who come up with uh, 221 00:11:36,719 --> 00:11:38,801 Hollywood blockbusters have their lunch. Neato, huh? 222 00:11:40,292 --> 00:11:43,525 Damnit, Mitch. How come our movie studio can't come up with any winners? 223 00:11:43,641 --> 00:11:45,958 I mean, we're smart, right? We're really smart. 224 00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:48,588 We need an idea for a movie that's a home run. 225 00:11:48,763 --> 00:11:50,647 A feel-good romp for the whole family. 226 00:11:51,803 --> 00:11:53,170 Hey, what's that over there? 227 00:11:53,620 --> 00:11:56,286 Wow, that's a really neat little robot you have there, little boy. 228 00:11:56,370 --> 00:11:57,186 What's he do? 229 00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:59,303 Well, he can do anything. Watch this 230 00:11:59,644 --> 00:12:01,994 Hey, AWESOM-O, who's gonna win the Superbowl next year? 231 00:12:02,244 --> 00:12:03,477 The New Orleans Saints. 232 00:12:05,942 --> 00:12:06,775 Hey, Mr. Robot, 233 00:12:06,958 --> 00:12:09,975 how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 234 00:12:10,375 --> 00:12:11,191 Seventeen. 235 00:12:14,574 --> 00:12:17,157 Mitch, are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? 236 00:12:17,365 --> 00:12:21,298 Yeah. Maybe that robot can be programmed to come up with movie ideas! 237 00:12:22,813 --> 00:12:23,679 Exactly! 238 00:12:24,329 --> 00:12:27,363 Gentlemen, this little boy was kind enough to let us show you his robot. 239 00:12:27,463 --> 00:12:28,896 The AWESOM-O 4000. 240 00:12:29,119 --> 00:12:30,586 I've already seen what he can do. 241 00:12:30,819 --> 00:12:33,786 Uh, excuse me sir, but uh, that's not a robot. 242 00:12:34,684 --> 00:12:35,250 It's not? 243 00:12:35,517 --> 00:12:37,300 No, it clearly had bipedal movement, 244 00:12:37,417 --> 00:12:39,784 so the correct term is "computerized automatron." 245 00:12:40,067 --> 00:12:42,017 Oh, very nice, Mitch. You are the smart one. 246 00:12:42,208 --> 00:12:44,308 Well, regardless, I believe maybe this automatron 247 00:12:44,374 --> 00:12:46,874 can help us come up with new movie ideas. 248 00:12:47,147 --> 00:12:50,364 How can a robot come up with better ideas for movies than us? 249 00:12:50,514 --> 00:12:54,781 Watch this: AWESOM-O, given the current trends of the movie-going public 250 00:12:54,871 --> 00:12:58,721 can you come up with an idea for a movie that will break a hundred million box office? 251 00:12:59,794 --> 00:13:02,078 Um... okay. How about this: 252 00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:06,418 Adam Sandler is like, in love with some girl, 253 00:13:06,768 --> 00:13:09,352 but then it turns out that the girl is actually a ... 254 00:13:09,735 --> 00:13:11,252 ...golden retriever, or something. 255 00:13:13,408 --> 00:13:16,225 Oh, perfect! We'll call it "Puppy Love"! 256 00:13:16,358 --> 00:13:18,208 Give us another movie idea, AWESOM-O! 257 00:13:18,325 --> 00:13:20,341 Yeah yeah! Let's hear it! Yeah, we wanna hear it! Come on, come on! 258 00:13:21,297 --> 00:13:25,480 Okay, how about this: Adam Sandler... inherits like, a billion dollars, 259 00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:29,780 but first, he has to, like, become a ...boxer, or something. 260 00:13:30,524 --> 00:13:33,990 ...Yes, it's flawless! Punch-Drunk Billionaire! 261 00:13:34,590 --> 00:13:37,457 Boy, Los Angeles is great, huh AWESOM-O? 262 00:13:37,509 --> 00:13:40,914 Can you believe those guys paid us a hundred dollars apiece for those movie ideas? 263 00:13:41,666 --> 00:13:43,756 You should split that money with AWESOM-O. 264 00:13:43,885 --> 00:13:45,717 After all, they were AWESOM-O's ideas. 265 00:13:45,912 --> 00:13:48,319 Hahaa, right! What are you gonna do with money, AWESOM-O? 266 00:13:48,413 --> 00:13:50,961 Buy some robot pants? Haha, no! 267 00:13:51,043 --> 00:13:52,781 We got each other and that's all we need, AWESOM-O. 268 00:13:52,923 --> 00:13:55,577 I'm gonna send this money to needy kids in third-world countries. 269 00:13:58,207 --> 00:13:59,181 Ye, you okay AWESOM-O? 270 00:13:59,275 --> 00:14:01,577 AWESOM-O needs to rest! Feeling faint. 271 00:14:01,655 --> 00:14:02,888 Well you go ahead and relax, AWESOM-O. 272 00:14:03,006 --> 00:14:05,119 We've got another full day of pitching movies tomorrow. 273 00:14:09,394 --> 00:14:13,457 Gentlemen, Ladies, we all know that we live in a time of uncertainty. 274 00:14:14,010 --> 00:14:16,699 The risk of an attack on American soil is higher than ever. 275 00:14:17,110 --> 00:14:20,057 Now, I believe we may be able to curb that risk. 276 00:14:20,739 --> 00:14:23,593 Two days ago our intelligence department came across this: 277 00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:27,885 The AWESOM-O 4000. 278 00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:31,784 It is currently being used by Catamount Pictures to develop ideas for movies. 279 00:14:32,026 --> 00:14:36,934 Our sources say that in just one week it has come up with over one thousand movie ideas, 280 00:14:37,227 --> 00:14:39,141 eight hundred of which feature Adam Sandler. 281 00:14:41,603 --> 00:14:42,214 That's incredible! 282 00:14:42,273 --> 00:14:46,594 You're thinking the robot could be used to come up with anti-Islamic movies? 283 00:14:46,723 --> 00:14:48,965 No. If we got our hands on that robot, 284 00:14:49,014 --> 00:14:52,243 we could reprogram it and turn it into a weapon!. 285 00:14:54,029 --> 00:14:57,246 Uh huh. I don't see how we have a choice. 286 00:14:57,293 --> 00:15:00,604 Hold on a second: If that robot is designed for entertainment, 287 00:15:00,670 --> 00:15:02,279 turning it into a weapon is unethical. 288 00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:06,048 Unethical? Let me explain something to you, Mr. Scientist! 289 00:15:06,125 --> 00:15:08,286 We understand that the robot is from Japan! 290 00:15:08,427 --> 00:15:10,587 That means that the Japanese have more of them! 291 00:15:10,763 --> 00:15:14,720 And if the Japanese fabricates one of them into a weapon before we do... 292 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:17,294 Jesus. It would be Pearl Harbor all over again. 293 00:15:17,435 --> 00:15:19,548 But worse. With robots. 294 00:15:19,779 --> 00:15:21,469 I I'm sorry, I must protest. 295 00:15:21,693 --> 00:15:25,614 We, we have no data suggesting the Japanese have developed a robot with offensive capability. 296 00:15:25,732 --> 00:15:30,546 You're paid to think, Mr. Scientist! National security is our jub. 297 00:15:34,029 --> 00:15:36,858 Gentlemen, we're going to Los Angeles! 298 00:15:37,030 --> 00:15:39,179 I want that robot! 299 00:15:41,352 --> 00:15:44,041 Yeah, me and my robot are still over at the movie studio, Aunt Nellie. 300 00:15:44,287 --> 00:15:45,943 We're makin' all sorts of money for the poor. 301 00:15:46,649 --> 00:15:50,124 Movie idea number two thousand three hundred and five: 302 00:15:50,871 --> 00:15:56,167 Adam Sandler is trapped on an island and falls in love with a coconut. 303 00:15:56,589 --> 00:16:00,323 Great, AWESOM-O, great. Uh guys, take a break. I need a minute alone with AWESOM-O. 304 00:16:03,912 --> 00:16:05,978 You are an incredible robot, AWESOM-O. 305 00:16:06,415 --> 00:16:11,346 I was just wondering... are you by chance a ...pleasure model? 306 00:16:12,832 --> 00:16:13,184 ...What? 307 00:16:13,830 --> 00:16:18,867 Well, have you been programmed to... satisfy... urges of humans? 308 00:16:19,973 --> 00:16:21,464 AWESOM-O does not understand. 309 00:16:22,069 --> 00:16:23,514 Let me show you what I mean. 310 00:16:24,758 --> 00:16:26,332 Well yeah, we're havin' a great time, Aunt Nellie. 311 00:16:26,414 --> 00:16:28,234 These movie studio guys are real nice. 312 00:16:28,411 --> 00:16:29,151 LAME! 313 00:16:29,421 --> 00:16:32,004 Yeah, we're makin' a bunch more money. I can't believe it either. 314 00:16:32,626 --> 00:16:34,646 NOT COOL! TOTALLY LAME! 315 00:16:35,722 --> 00:16:36,297 AWESOM-O? 316 00:16:37,142 --> 00:16:39,549 Well, I gotta go, Aunt Nellie. Ah, AWESOM-O is havin' some kind of malfunction. 317 00:16:40,690 --> 00:16:42,075 AWESOM-O? Hey, where'd ya go? 318 00:16:51,429 --> 00:16:52,943 Let's go! Move, move! 319 00:16:53,037 --> 00:16:54,035 AWESOM-O? 320 00:16:54,107 --> 00:16:55,293 Hey, what are you doin' with him?! 321 00:16:59,562 --> 00:17:01,018 That's my robot! 322 00:17:04,372 --> 00:17:07,272 AWESOM-OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! 323 00:17:15,398 --> 00:17:17,242 Are those arm and leg locks secure? 324 00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:18,263 Secure, sir! 325 00:17:18,536 --> 00:17:22,011 Good. I don't want that robot mobile until I know what it's capable of. 326 00:17:22,047 --> 00:17:23,021 All right, power it on. 327 00:17:29,093 --> 00:17:29,868 What the hell? 328 00:17:29,973 --> 00:17:30,830 What's going on? 329 00:17:31,053 --> 00:17:33,848 It... powered itself back on. 330 00:17:35,523 --> 00:17:38,130 Stand by. Be ready to destroy it. 331 00:17:38,917 --> 00:17:41,771 Where the hell am I?! Hey, why can't I move?! 332 00:17:41,865 --> 00:17:45,117 Are your systems stable? Run a systems check on your CPU. 333 00:17:45,201 --> 00:17:46,621 The fuck are you talkin' about, dude?! 334 00:17:46,727 --> 00:17:50,167 Ah, I'm sorry, robot, they want me to reprogram you. 335 00:17:50,221 --> 00:17:52,112 I'm not a robot, dumbass! I'm alive. 336 00:17:52,229 --> 00:17:55,341 What did you say? I said I'm a real person, asswipe! 337 00:17:56,975 --> 00:17:58,149 ...Oh my God. 338 00:17:59,100 --> 00:17:59,793 What's happening? 339 00:18:00,345 --> 00:18:02,623 The robot... It thinks it's alive. 340 00:18:03,527 --> 00:18:05,594 It's developed consciousness. 341 00:18:06,100 --> 00:18:07,403 What? How can that be? 342 00:18:07,714 --> 00:18:10,028 Must be a malfunction of its exographical IMS or the... 343 00:18:10,145 --> 00:18:11,166 interlaced BV system. 344 00:18:11,331 --> 00:18:14,466 Speak in a language we can understand, Mr. Scientist! 345 00:18:14,696 --> 00:18:17,103 Your robot doesn't know it's a robot! 346 00:18:17,749 --> 00:18:18,947 Goddamnit, get me down from here! 347 00:18:21,855 --> 00:18:23,299 Who made you, robot?! 348 00:18:23,628 --> 00:18:25,248 I'm not a robot, I'm a human! 349 00:18:25,518 --> 00:18:26,927 Jesus, the scientist was right. 350 00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:29,640 But, who would have programmed it to think it was human? 351 00:18:29,910 --> 00:18:30,708 The movie studio? 352 00:18:31,015 --> 00:18:33,222 Look, retards! My name is Eric Cartman! 353 00:18:33,281 --> 00:18:35,148 I live with my mom in South Park, Colorado! 354 00:18:35,418 --> 00:18:37,438 Dear Christ, they gave it memories, too. 355 00:18:37,587 --> 00:18:38,585 Sure, why not? 356 00:18:38,831 --> 00:18:41,532 Program the memories of some eight-year-old boy who doesn't exist, 357 00:18:41,649 --> 00:18:43,235 and make the robot think he's real! 358 00:18:43,340 --> 00:18:45,008 Makes for a lot better movies! 359 00:18:45,078 --> 00:18:48,566 I'm not reprogramming a robot that's developed consciousness! 360 00:18:48,797 --> 00:18:50,969 Do I have to remind you of your position?! 361 00:18:51,075 --> 00:18:53,047 Don't forget you have a duty to your country, 362 00:18:53,176 --> 00:18:55,396 Mr. Scientist!! 363 00:18:55,473 --> 00:18:58,714 Scientist!! I want that robot's memories and consciousness E-RASED, 364 00:18:58,820 --> 00:19:01,274 so we can take it back to Washington! GOT IT?! 365 00:19:03,171 --> 00:19:04,193 Damn you all to hell!.. 366 00:19:08,750 --> 00:19:13,552 Hey there, did you know I had a robot friend? 367 00:19:13,682 --> 00:19:18,990 We used to laugh and play, but someone took him away. 368 00:19:19,208 --> 00:19:24,316 He was my ten gigahertz old pal. 369 00:19:24,586 --> 00:19:27,944 My robot friend. 370 00:19:29,795 --> 00:19:30,429 Hey, wait a minute. 371 00:19:32,866 --> 00:19:34,792 Why, that's the van that- Oh my God! 372 00:19:36,607 --> 00:19:39,848 Goddamnit, stop! I'm real! I'm real! 373 00:19:39,919 --> 00:19:42,126 It'll all be over soon, robot! 374 00:19:46,384 --> 00:19:48,333 Hang on! I'm getting you out of here, robot! 375 00:19:48,485 --> 00:19:50,423 Aw, it's about freaking time, jackass! 376 00:19:50,530 --> 00:19:52,467 What the hell are you doing?! 377 00:19:53,806 --> 00:19:55,649 Well I, I'm saving a conscious being! 378 00:19:55,954 --> 00:19:57,974 If you wanna kill it, you'll have to go through me! 379 00:19:58,527 --> 00:20:01,028 Fine. Kill that son of a bitch! 380 00:20:01,346 --> 00:20:05,022 No! Look, Goddamnit! Now I can show you stupid assholes who I really am! 381 00:20:05,773 --> 00:20:06,759 AWESOM-O! 382 00:20:07,910 --> 00:20:09,730 I am the AWESOM-O 4000. 383 00:20:12,685 --> 00:20:16,443 No!! No, please! Don't kill him! He's my best friend! 384 00:20:16,566 --> 00:20:18,598 He's my best friend in the whole world! 385 00:20:24,165 --> 00:20:28,439 There. You see? You want to tell me this isn't humanity? 386 00:20:29,772 --> 00:20:31,862 Who's to judge what makes somethng human anyway?! 387 00:20:31,952 --> 00:20:37,000 Does this make me human?! Or this?! Or these?! 388 00:20:40,225 --> 00:20:43,489 Perhaps... there is consciousness in this robot. 389 00:20:44,206 --> 00:20:47,565 Maybe we as a society need to realize that artificial intelligence 390 00:20:47,689 --> 00:20:51,881 ... is intelligence all the same, and we can learn from the robots. 391 00:20:52,703 --> 00:20:54,793 I think maybe one day we can all- 392 00:20:56,731 --> 00:20:58,786 Heh- wait a minute, did, did that robot just fart? 393 00:20:59,662 --> 00:21:01,036 Hey, robots don't fart! 394 00:21:01,688 --> 00:21:03,425 Uh... now ending fart sequence. 395 00:21:03,690 --> 00:21:05,204 Oh, and it, it smells, too! 396 00:21:05,404 --> 00:21:06,649 Smell sequence initiated. 397 00:21:07,155 --> 00:21:08,658 A robot with smelly farts? 398 00:21:08,693 --> 00:21:10,137 That doesn't make any sense. 399 00:21:10,443 --> 00:21:11,687 Hang on a second here! 400 00:21:16,486 --> 00:21:18,482 Would you like to touch my body? 401 00:21:18,553 --> 00:21:20,220 Come on and touch my body! 402 00:21:21,147 --> 00:21:21,922 Oooo, my hot body! 403 00:21:22,176 --> 00:21:24,020 Don't you like my hot body? 404 00:21:24,102 --> 00:21:25,511 Come on and touch my titties! 405 00:21:26,051 --> 00:21:27,507 I felt them just like ??? 406 00:21:27,718 --> 00:21:29,644 Come on Justin, touch my body! 407 00:21:29,745 --> 00:21:30,720 Mmm, Justin, yeah! 408 00:21:30,814 --> 00:21:33,091 Touch my body! You and me! 409 00:21:33,275 --> 00:21:35,071 Check it out, my not-hot body! 410 00:21:35,693 --> 00:21:37,419 Come on, my body! 411 00:21:38,014 --> 00:21:40,127 Wow, kid, you're a little faggot! 412 00:21:40,526 --> 00:21:41,642 Lame...