1
00:00:01,201 --> 00:00:02,701
♪ Riding through
your neighborhood ♪

2
00:00:02,702 --> 00:00:03,737
♪ Out to pull a... ♪

3
00:00:03,738 --> 00:00:06,105
♪ No...
And I'm that smooth ♪

4
00:00:06,106 --> 00:00:07,405
♪ I'm the shadow
on your block ♪

5
00:00:07,406 --> 00:00:08,406
♪ Dressed in all black ♪

6
00:00:08,407 --> 00:00:09,576
♪ And when they run up ♪

7
00:00:09,577 --> 00:00:11,177
♪ I'ma make 'em fall flat ♪

8
00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:12,880
[Tires screech]

9
00:00:16,083 --> 00:00:17,417
♪ I want your dough,
not your life ♪

10
00:00:17,418 --> 00:00:21,187
♪ But I'll take one ♪

11
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:25,558
Aah!

12
00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:27,261
[Siren wails]

13
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,638
Both:
No!

14
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:41,941
Mom! We were just about
to shake down some whores

15
00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:43,309
for holding out on us.

16
00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:44,776
So go outside and do it.

17
00:00:44,777 --> 00:00:47,145
Look, I don't like what
this game is doing to you boys.

18
00:00:47,146 --> 00:00:48,949
What do you mean?
We're totally fine.

19
00:00:48,950 --> 00:00:51,484
[Hisses]
The light burns!

20
00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:52,953
Did you even sleep last night?

21
00:00:52,954 --> 00:00:55,021
Ain't no times for sleeps.
What, what?

22
00:00:55,022 --> 00:00:57,657
Yup, yup.
A sleepin' pimp's a dead pimp.

23
00:00:57,658 --> 00:01:00,159
Oy, if only someone had told
that to your cousin Dino,

24
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:01,661
God rest his soul.

25
00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:03,763
I know they say
pimpin' ain't easy,

26
00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:05,665
but this level's pretty easy.

27
00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:07,568
You boys don't know
nothing 'bout pimping.

28
00:01:07,569 --> 00:01:09,068
Let me show you how it's done.

29
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,904
Up, up, down, down,
left, right, left, right,

30
00:01:10,905 --> 00:01:12,238
B, A, Select, Start.

31
00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:15,208
Now you got a fleet
of a hundred hoes.

32
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:17,176
And I got a new cell phone.

33
00:01:17,177 --> 00:01:19,479
Sucker little white kids!

34
00:01:19,504 --> 00:01:24,804
<font color="#3399CC">Synch and correct by MemoryOnSmells
www.addic7ed.com</font>

35
00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:31,257
[Bell rings]

36
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:32,526
[Pager vibrates]

37
00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:35,028
Why's everyone so weird
on Chat Roulette?

38
00:01:35,029 --> 00:01:36,964
Some people don't even
show their nuts.

39
00:01:37,142 --> 00:01:37,808
Hey, Jeena.

40
00:01:37,888 --> 00:01:38,987
I can't talk right now.

41
00:01:38,988 --> 00:01:40,755
I got 10,000 acres
on farmville to harvest,

44
00:01:43,595 --> 00:01:45,094
and I got to put down a horse.

45
00:01:45,095 --> 00:01:46,463
What are you doing
all that for?

46
00:01:46,464 --> 00:01:47,864
It relaxes me!

47
00:01:47,865 --> 00:01:49,398
Breathing in...

48
00:01:49,399 --> 00:01:51,601
Breathing out.

49
00:01:51,602 --> 00:01:52,902
Oh, my God.

50
00:01:52,903 --> 00:01:55,404
I almost forgot to breathe.
I have to tweet that.

51
00:01:55,405 --> 00:01:56,571
Oh, that's it.

52
00:01:56,572 --> 00:01:58,375
I have had it about up to here
with all of you.

53
00:01:58,376 --> 00:02:00,810
[Groans]
Oh, you get the idea.

54
00:02:00,811 --> 00:02:02,679
You're all neglecting
your responsibilities

55
00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:04,380
because of your
constant sexting

56
00:02:04,381 --> 00:02:06,282
and non-stop Twitter tatting

57
00:02:06,283 --> 00:02:08,184
and goddamn face poking.

58
00:02:08,185 --> 00:02:10,419
O-m-f-g.
Ashton just tweeted.

59
00:02:10,420 --> 00:02:11,722
He forgot to breathe too.

60
00:02:11,723 --> 00:02:13,322
Give me that.

61
00:02:13,323 --> 00:02:16,325
Oh. Oh, God.
Oh, can't...

62
00:02:16,326 --> 00:02:18,561
Oh, okay.
Almost got it.

63
00:02:18,562 --> 00:02:21,297
Just a little more.
Oh, God!

64
00:02:21,298 --> 00:02:26,002
[Alarm beeping]
Aah! Save the electronics!

65
00:02:26,003 --> 00:02:30,106
[Groans]
Oh, [bleep] My life.

66
00:02:30,107 --> 00:02:32,508
♪ Budget guts and testing ♪

67
00:02:32,509 --> 00:02:34,243
♪ Have ruined all our schools ♪

68
00:02:34,244 --> 00:02:36,479
Let's hear it
for Principal Gurniel.

69
00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:37,914
Thank you, Voneeta.

70
00:02:37,915 --> 00:02:40,783
Mm, mm. That's a lovely scent
you're wearing.

71
00:02:40,784 --> 00:02:42,218
It's taco spice.

72
00:02:42,219 --> 00:02:43,752
Why am I missing
a shift for this?

73
00:02:43,753 --> 00:02:44,953
Chill, parent-heads.

74
00:02:44,954 --> 00:02:46,721
We've called this
emergency PTA meeting

75
00:02:46,722 --> 00:02:48,356
because your children
are out of control.

76
00:02:48,357 --> 00:02:50,794
As you can probably tell
from Ms. Teets' bandages.

77
00:02:50,795 --> 00:02:52,862
To be fair,
this one is from cage sex,

78
00:02:52,863 --> 00:02:55,398
but this one here,
this is from the children.

79
00:02:55,399 --> 00:02:56,867
Seems your little grommets

80
00:02:56,868 --> 00:02:58,734
are hooked on technology,
people.

81
00:02:58,735 --> 00:03:01,170
It's true.
The only way that my Mondo

82
00:03:01,171 --> 00:03:04,173
gets any exercise is when I move
his feet while he's sleeping.

83
00:03:04,174 --> 00:03:06,676
I caught my son
cyber bullying online.

84
00:03:06,677 --> 00:03:08,010
It's terrible.

85
00:03:08,011 --> 00:03:10,446
How's he ever gonna
get any hands-on experience?

86
00:03:10,447 --> 00:03:12,416
Why are you
hitting yourself, huh?

87
00:03:12,417 --> 00:03:16,118
Why are you hitting yourself
at a PTA meeting?

88
00:03:16,119 --> 00:03:17,452
So what are we supposed to do?

89
00:03:17,453 --> 00:03:18,722
Well, luckily there's hope.

90
00:03:18,723 --> 00:03:20,690
[Eagle shrieks]

91
00:03:20,691 --> 00:03:22,592
Howdy.
I'm Claw Jones.

92
00:03:22,593 --> 00:03:25,695
You might recognize me
from my show Claw and order

93
00:03:25,696 --> 00:03:27,463
on the wilderness channel.

94
00:03:27,464 --> 00:03:30,466
[Polar bear growls]

95
00:03:30,467 --> 00:03:34,003
Aah!

96
00:03:34,004 --> 00:03:40,376
[Crocodile roars, whimpers]

97
00:03:40,377 --> 00:03:41,844
[Sheep bleats]

98
00:03:41,845 --> 00:03:42,946
[Eagle shrieks]

99
00:03:42,947 --> 00:03:44,947
Now that I've
skull-blasted the wild,

100
00:03:44,948 --> 00:03:48,718
I've set my eye on the most
dangerous beast there is...

101
00:03:48,719 --> 00:03:49,852
teenagers.

102
00:03:49,853 --> 00:03:52,755
Aah!

103
00:03:52,756 --> 00:03:55,825
Remember when virus protection
was a condom,

104
00:03:55,826 --> 00:03:59,729
apple was a fruit, and a mouse
was a little bitch rat?

105
00:03:59,730 --> 00:04:03,099
Well, your kids don't.

106
00:04:03,100 --> 00:04:04,301
One week with me,

107
00:04:04,302 --> 00:04:06,402
and your kids will learn
to be self-sufficient,

108
00:04:06,403 --> 00:04:09,972
appreciate nature, and conquer
their greatest fears.

109
00:04:09,973 --> 00:04:11,674
Isn't that right, Tommy?

110
00:04:11,675 --> 00:04:13,576
[Laughs]
You're the best, Claw.

111
00:04:13,577 --> 00:04:14,844
So remember,

112
00:04:14,845 --> 00:04:17,480
when technology has you
duct-taped in a basement prison,

113
00:04:17,481 --> 00:04:19,916
just Claw your way out.

114
00:04:19,917 --> 00:04:22,351
[Rock music]

115
00:04:22,352 --> 00:04:23,853
Mm, I don't know.

116
00:04:23,854 --> 00:04:25,821
Well, if you don't want
to send them to tech rehab,

117
00:04:25,822 --> 00:04:27,055
we could just suspend them.

118
00:04:27,056 --> 00:04:28,557
Then you'll be stuck
with them all week.

119
00:04:28,558 --> 00:04:29,560
No skin off my tit.

120
00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:32,094
- No, no.
- They're yours.

121
00:04:33,456 --> 00:04:35,025
Two days in the wilderness?

122
00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:37,693
Mom, I'm slow.
I'm weak. I'm needy.

123
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:40,029
In nature,
I'm what's known as prey.

124
00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:41,664
Come on, my little trooper.

125
00:04:41,665 --> 00:04:43,666
Remember when you
were in the scouts?

126
00:04:43,667 --> 00:04:45,868
Look at all those badges
that you earned.

127
00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:47,737
No, ma, you earned those.

128
00:04:47,738 --> 00:04:48,738
[Rock music]

129
00:04:48,739 --> 00:04:50,172
[Grunts]

130
00:04:50,173 --> 00:04:51,641
Mm.

131
00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:58,547
[Dummy buzzes]

132
00:04:58,548 --> 00:04:59,548
Mm.

133
00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:02,184
[Dummy beeps]

134
00:05:02,185 --> 00:05:03,686
[Grunts]

135
00:05:03,687 --> 00:05:05,756
Mm.

136
00:05:12,129 --> 00:05:14,730
Sorry, mom.
There's no way I'm going.

137
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:16,298
Okay.
I'm sure that Jeena

138
00:05:16,299 --> 00:05:18,667
will find someone else
to keep her warm.

139
00:05:18,668 --> 00:05:20,101
Jeena's going?
I'm going!

140
00:05:20,102 --> 00:05:22,472
Jeena and I are both going,
and you can't stop me!

141
00:05:22,473 --> 00:05:23,806
Calm down.

142
00:05:23,807 --> 00:05:25,273
All the kids have
to be at the dock

143
00:05:25,274 --> 00:05:26,676
first thing in the morning.

144
00:05:26,677 --> 00:05:29,211
Wow. I wonder how
they're gonna wrangle Wadska.

145
00:05:29,212 --> 00:05:32,281
[Hisses]

146
00:05:32,282 --> 00:05:33,482
[Horn blows]

147
00:05:33,483 --> 00:05:36,018
Yeah, that's right.
It's Claw Jones.

148
00:05:36,019 --> 00:05:37,652
Ugh.
Now before we go any further,

149
00:05:37,725 --> 00:05:38,994
I'm gonna need everybody

150
00:05:38,995 --> 00:05:41,996
to drop any and all
"electronicals" into this sack.

151
00:05:41,997 --> 00:05:43,398
[All groan]

152
00:05:43,399 --> 00:05:46,367
[Cell phone ringing]

153
00:05:46,368 --> 00:05:48,503
You want to play hardball?

154
00:05:48,504 --> 00:05:51,973
Taylor Lautner.

155
00:05:51,974 --> 00:05:54,142
Thank you.
Everybody on the boat.

156
00:05:54,143 --> 00:05:55,311
- Miss you.
- Have a good time.

157
00:05:55,312 --> 00:05:57,111
- Have fun, kids.
- Have fun.

158
00:05:57,112 --> 00:05:58,479
Hmm. Now what?

159
00:05:58,480 --> 00:05:59,881
I don't know.

160
00:05:59,882 --> 00:06:02,851
It's been years since
we've had a free weekend.

161
00:06:02,852 --> 00:06:05,119
How about everyone
come over to my place

162
00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:07,523
for some finger foods
and intelligent conversation?

163
00:06:07,524 --> 00:06:09,457
- Count me in.
- Finger foods.

164
00:06:09,458 --> 00:06:12,026
- Sounds great.
- I'll provide the tunes.

165
00:06:12,027 --> 00:06:13,295
Nope.
Tunes are broke.

166
00:06:16,996 --> 00:06:18,830
Oh, I like your jacket.

167
00:06:18,893 --> 00:06:20,360
Oh, yeah?
Are you gonna steal it from me

168
00:06:20,442 --> 00:06:21,444
like you did Turk?

169
00:06:21,445 --> 00:06:22,945
Excuse me?

170
00:06:22,946 --> 00:06:26,348
Ladies, ladies, please,
continue fighting over me.

171
00:06:26,349 --> 00:06:27,848
Turk shows his sack
on the Internet,

172
00:06:27,849 --> 00:06:29,419
and he gets
a camping weekend with Jeena.

173
00:06:29,420 --> 00:06:31,453
I have one nut slip out
of my swimsuit,

174
00:06:31,454 --> 00:06:32,989
and I get banned
from the public pool.

175
00:06:32,990 --> 00:06:34,356
Tell me how that's fair!

176
00:06:34,357 --> 00:06:36,992
I'm just wondering
what our video game characters

177
00:06:36,993 --> 00:06:38,460
are doing right now.

178
00:06:38,461 --> 00:06:39,795
Psst.
Hey, you awake?

179
00:06:39,823 --> 00:06:41,090
Now I am.

180
00:06:41,091 --> 00:06:42,926
You ever feel
like everything we do

181
00:06:42,927 --> 00:06:45,028
is controlled
by some greater force,

182
00:06:45,029 --> 00:06:47,497
like we're some sort
of cosmic puppets?

183
00:06:47,498 --> 00:06:49,266
You think too much.
Now hush up.

184
00:06:49,267 --> 00:06:52,702
You're gonna wake the hoes.
[Women snoring]

185
00:06:52,703 --> 00:06:54,103
I'm sure they're fine.

186
00:06:54,104 --> 00:06:56,171
I'm more worried about
getting through this weekend.

187
00:06:56,172 --> 00:06:57,708
Your apprehension
is well-founded.

188
00:06:57,709 --> 00:07:00,510
You don't think we're going
on some nature hike, do you?

189
00:07:00,511 --> 00:07:02,378
- Uh-huh.
- Maniacal laughter!

190
00:07:02,379 --> 00:07:04,614
We're here
to be hunted for sport

191
00:07:04,615 --> 00:07:07,116
by some blood-thirsty
billionaire.

192
00:07:07,117 --> 00:07:10,486
We'll be lucky to make it
through the night alive!

193
00:07:10,487 --> 00:07:11,420
[Laughs]

194
00:07:11,421 --> 00:07:12,456
Ominous cackle!

195
00:07:12,457 --> 00:07:14,223
Followed by
shifty eye movements.

196
00:07:14,224 --> 00:07:18,194
Behold.
Cachondo island.

197
00:07:18,195 --> 00:07:20,830
Yeah, that's not scary at all.

198
00:07:20,831 --> 00:07:22,565
Isn't this nice?

199
00:07:22,566 --> 00:07:24,434
Just us grown-ups
sitting around,

200
00:07:24,435 --> 00:07:26,669
having a civilized
evening for once?

201
00:07:26,670 --> 00:07:29,839
Yeah. And this baked Brie
is the tits.

202
00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:30,841
Thanks, Brett.

203
00:07:30,842 --> 00:07:32,342
All right, rule number one,

204
00:07:32,343 --> 00:07:36,646
we cannot talk about our kids.

205
00:07:36,647 --> 00:07:41,017
You know, I once bit
right through a pineapple.

206
00:07:41,018 --> 00:07:42,684
Come on, people.
This shouldn't be hard.

207
00:07:42,685 --> 00:07:43,852
I mean, what did we do for fun

208
00:07:43,853 --> 00:07:45,289
before the kids came along?

209
00:07:45,290 --> 00:07:48,057
All right, you breeders.
Who wants a drink?

210
00:07:48,058 --> 00:07:49,191
- Thank God.
- Oh, come to mama.

211
00:07:49,192 --> 00:07:50,194
You're a savior.

212
00:07:50,195 --> 00:07:51,861
Now listen up, tech tweakers.

213
00:07:51,862 --> 00:07:54,764
Ugh. I'm gonna drop
some survival loads on you.

214
00:07:54,765 --> 00:07:57,066
Mother nature's like
any other woman.

215
00:07:57,067 --> 00:07:59,436
She smells nice, she's pretty,
and she'll let you touch her,

216
00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:02,005
but then without warning
she'll turn into a real bitch.

217
00:08:02,006 --> 00:08:03,706
So it's essential
that you carry

218
00:08:03,707 --> 00:08:05,376
a sufficient amount
of fresh water on you,

219
00:08:05,377 --> 00:08:07,043
or she will suck you dry.

220
00:08:07,044 --> 00:08:09,045
And not in a good way.

221
00:08:09,046 --> 00:08:12,915
Ah, true, but why lug around
a canteen like a sap

222
00:08:12,916 --> 00:08:16,119
when our bodies already contain
nature's canteen?

223
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:18,021
The bladder!
Witness.

224
00:08:18,022 --> 00:08:22,358
I have her a cup of my own
perfectly drinkable urine.

225
00:08:22,359 --> 00:08:25,061
Ugh!
It's gone cold.

226
00:08:25,062 --> 00:08:26,829
Dude, I feel really weird.

227
00:08:26,830 --> 00:08:28,164
I'm losing thumb speed.

228
00:08:28,165 --> 00:08:29,698
I don't know
how much longer I can last.

229
00:08:29,699 --> 00:08:31,402
You're just going
through withdrawal.

230
00:08:31,403 --> 00:08:33,102
We all are.
Look.

231
00:08:33,103 --> 00:08:34,504
Ugh.
[Bird chirping]

232
00:08:34,505 --> 00:08:35,905
What is that ringtone?

233
00:08:35,906 --> 00:08:37,407
That's a bird.

234
00:08:37,408 --> 00:08:39,242
Can we put it on vibrate?

235
00:08:39,243 --> 00:08:43,046
Hey, guys, check out
these berries I found.

236
00:08:43,047 --> 00:08:44,314
Oh, damn it.

237
00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:47,183
It's just not as satisfying
in real life.

238
00:08:47,184 --> 00:08:48,718
Oh, I miss my farm.

239
00:08:48,719 --> 00:08:50,053
Hey, good find, Jeena.

240
00:08:50,054 --> 00:08:52,254
This dead animal here
is a beautiful part of nature

241
00:08:52,255 --> 00:08:53,488
and the cycle of life.

242
00:08:53,489 --> 00:08:55,392
We must treat
every animal in the wild

243
00:08:55,393 --> 00:08:57,293
with love and respect.

244
00:08:57,294 --> 00:08:59,529
[Grunts]

245
00:08:59,530 --> 00:09:02,665
This boar-skin coat will keep me
warm and camouflaged.

246
00:09:02,666 --> 00:09:05,435
It's an invaluable find...

247
00:09:05,436 --> 00:09:06,869
nobody panic.

248
00:09:06,870 --> 00:09:08,973
This is their mating season.
It's completely natural.

249
00:09:08,974 --> 00:09:14,911
And... oh!
That one got me.

250
00:09:14,912 --> 00:09:17,413
Ah... Ah...
Oh.

251
00:09:17,414 --> 00:09:19,816
Oh.
Here you go, Mondo.

252
00:09:19,817 --> 00:09:21,151
Look at that little stick.

253
00:09:21,152 --> 00:09:24,020
The Marshmallow's all like,
"is it in yet?"

254
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:25,588
[Laughs]

255
00:09:25,589 --> 00:09:27,024
All right, gather 'round

256
00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:29,859
while I forcibly insert some
knowledge into your "brain-us."

257
00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:32,395
I too am a recovering
tech addict.

258
00:09:32,396 --> 00:09:35,331
Unable to escape the constant
stream of pornography,

259
00:09:35,332 --> 00:09:36,866
I abused my body,

260
00:09:36,867 --> 00:09:38,736
causing permanent damage
to my hand,

261
00:09:38,737 --> 00:09:41,404
which is where I got
the nickname Claw.

262
00:09:41,405 --> 00:09:43,640
Since overcoming that,

263
00:09:43,641 --> 00:09:45,475
I've dedicated
my life to nature.

264
00:09:45,476 --> 00:09:47,310
I've spent months
in rainforests,

265
00:09:47,311 --> 00:09:48,545
I punched a bear in the face,

266
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:50,546
and I had sex with a Mountain.

267
00:09:50,547 --> 00:09:52,316
How did you have sex
with a Mountain?

268
00:09:52,317 --> 00:09:53,750
Doggy-style.

269
00:09:53,751 --> 00:09:55,552
Point is, you got
to take charge of your life

270
00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:58,454
and start doing cool-ass stuff
on your own, like me.

271
00:09:58,455 --> 00:10:00,857
Now let's choco-lify
those s'mores.

272
00:10:00,858 --> 00:10:02,558
[Neck cracks]

273
00:10:02,559 --> 00:10:05,161
[All gasp]

274
00:10:05,162 --> 00:10:07,598
Spoiler alert.
He's dead.

275
00:10:09,648 --> 00:10:10,682
Are we sure he's dead?

276
00:10:10,683 --> 00:10:13,818
Hold on. Let me check.

277
00:10:13,819 --> 00:10:14,918
Yep. He's dead.

278
00:10:14,919 --> 00:10:16,054
So what should we do?

279
00:10:16,055 --> 00:10:17,622
We should eat him for energy!

280
00:10:17,623 --> 00:10:20,491
Wadska, you've been saying
that since the boat ride.

281
00:10:20,492 --> 00:10:22,427
Claw said we should treat
everything in the wild

282
00:10:22,428 --> 00:10:23,761
with love and respect.

283
00:10:23,762 --> 00:10:26,731
We need to honor his body
with a proper burial.

284
00:10:26,732 --> 00:10:28,767
- Mondo's right.
- Ew.

285
00:10:33,338 --> 00:10:34,338
What?

286
00:10:34,339 --> 00:10:36,374
He was being
all dead and gross.

287
00:10:36,375 --> 00:10:38,276
[Cell phone ringing]
Pretty bird.

288
00:10:38,277 --> 00:10:40,711
No, that one's
actually a phone.

289
00:10:40,712 --> 00:10:42,213
Where's it coming from?

290
00:10:42,214 --> 00:10:45,850
[Cell phone ringing]

291
00:10:45,851 --> 00:10:47,819
Falls!

292
00:10:47,820 --> 00:10:49,387
Okay, no reason to panic.

293
00:10:49,388 --> 00:10:51,422
Let's just
get back to our fire.

294
00:10:51,423 --> 00:10:53,258
That'll keep us warm
for the night.

295
00:10:53,259 --> 00:10:55,293
[Thunder booms]

296
00:10:55,294 --> 00:10:56,662
Still no reason to panic.

297
00:10:56,663 --> 00:10:59,530
As long as we don't
get separated.

298
00:10:59,531 --> 00:11:02,033
Okay, everybody panic.

299
00:11:02,034 --> 00:11:04,068
Oh, my God!

300
00:11:04,069 --> 00:11:06,637
Aah!

301
00:11:06,638 --> 00:11:07,738
Ugh.

302
00:11:07,739 --> 00:11:10,708
Hello?
Is anyone there?

303
00:11:10,709 --> 00:11:12,910
Oh, no.
I'm alone.

304
00:11:12,911 --> 00:11:15,246
This is the worst
thing possible.

305
00:11:15,247 --> 00:11:17,915
[Both groan]

306
00:11:17,916 --> 00:11:20,017
[Bleep] my life.

307
00:11:20,018 --> 00:11:21,486
See? Isn't this nice?

308
00:11:21,487 --> 00:11:23,721
I mean,
why can't our kids do this?

309
00:11:23,722 --> 00:11:25,623
Hanging out face to face.

310
00:11:25,624 --> 00:11:28,893
Yeah, this is
the real social network.

311
00:11:28,894 --> 00:11:30,561
And what's with this Twitter?

312
00:11:30,562 --> 00:11:32,730
Telling people what you think
all the time?

313
00:11:32,731 --> 00:11:35,366
I mean, we used to do that.
It was called being an a-hole.

314
00:11:35,367 --> 00:11:38,236
Remember this jam?
[Pop music plays]

315
00:11:38,237 --> 00:11:39,737
Think we can still kick it?

316
00:11:39,738 --> 00:11:41,472
Yes, we can.

317
00:11:41,473 --> 00:11:42,441
Check it out.

318
00:11:42,442 --> 00:11:45,042
Hoo. Ha.

319
00:11:45,043 --> 00:11:47,011
Who wants body shots, y'all?

320
00:11:47,012 --> 00:11:49,947
Ooh, get up in this, Gurniel.

321
00:11:49,948 --> 00:11:52,583
Stand very still.

322
00:11:52,584 --> 00:11:53,751
What? Why?

323
00:11:53,752 --> 00:11:55,820
Hi-yah!

324
00:11:55,821 --> 00:11:58,022
Thanks, bro.
That was close.

325
00:11:58,023 --> 00:11:59,758
You really know
what you're doing out here.

326
00:11:59,759 --> 00:12:01,058
Of course I do.

327
00:12:01,059 --> 00:12:03,661
While you're out there enjoying
the surf and the sand,

328
00:12:03,662 --> 00:12:06,397
I spend every waking minute
on the internet

329
00:12:06,398 --> 00:12:08,332
preparing for the apocalypse!

330
00:12:08,333 --> 00:12:10,035
Or college.
Whichever comes first.

331
00:12:10,036 --> 00:12:11,502
Besides, it'd be a shame

332
00:12:11,503 --> 00:12:13,405
to let an appetizer
ruin an entree.

333
00:12:13,406 --> 00:12:14,405
[Hisses]

334
00:12:14,406 --> 00:12:15,873
- What?
- Onward.

335
00:12:15,874 --> 00:12:18,142
Oh, God.
I hope everyone else is okay.

336
00:12:18,143 --> 00:12:19,343
Oh, yeah?

337
00:12:19,344 --> 00:12:21,246
You worried about
your precious little Turk?

338
00:12:21,247 --> 00:12:23,347
Will you drop it
about Turk already?

339
00:12:23,348 --> 00:12:26,217
You guys were already broken up
when we started going out.

340
00:12:26,218 --> 00:12:27,752
No, we were just on a break

341
00:12:27,753 --> 00:12:29,288
while I tried to date
somebody better.

342
00:12:29,289 --> 00:12:32,290
Milan, you have to be the most
selfish person I've ever met.

343
00:12:32,291 --> 00:12:34,826
Selfish?
"Hi, my name's Jeena.

344
00:12:34,827 --> 00:12:36,928
I like to hug energy
and recycle whales.

345
00:12:36,929 --> 00:12:38,563
Please tell me
how great I am."

346
00:12:38,564 --> 00:12:40,198
Yeah, that's not selfish.

347
00:12:40,199 --> 00:12:43,601
Oh, yeah? How about the time
you cancelled the AIDs Walk

348
00:12:43,602 --> 00:12:46,871
because the red ribbon
clashed with your shoes?

349
00:12:46,872 --> 00:12:50,408
[Animal grunting, snorting]

350
00:12:50,409 --> 00:12:53,744
[Grunts]

351
00:12:53,745 --> 00:12:56,014
All right, Turk, will you
give me a boost please?

352
00:12:56,015 --> 00:12:57,949
Sure.

353
00:12:57,950 --> 00:13:00,785
[Laughs]
You fall so funny.

354
00:13:00,786 --> 00:13:02,220
Can we do it again?

355
00:13:02,221 --> 00:13:05,289
You know what? In school
I have to put up with your crap,

356
00:13:05,290 --> 00:13:06,757
but not out here.

357
00:13:06,758 --> 00:13:08,226
I'm going out on my own.

358
00:13:08,227 --> 00:13:09,862
[Quietly]
Please don't leave me.

359
00:13:09,863 --> 00:13:10,862
What?

360
00:13:10,863 --> 00:13:12,463
Nothing.
Keep walking, fatty.

361
00:13:12,464 --> 00:13:13,464
Fine.

362
00:13:13,465 --> 00:13:15,066
[Quietly]
Wait. I need you.

363
00:13:15,067 --> 00:13:17,502
Whoa. What?
Did you just say you need me?

364
00:13:17,503 --> 00:13:21,572
Yeah. For pummeling
your stupid face in.

365
00:13:21,573 --> 00:13:24,408
[Quietly]
Help me.

366
00:13:24,409 --> 00:13:27,712
Okay, I... I admit it.
I'm... I'm scared.

367
00:13:27,713 --> 00:13:30,781
Scared?

368
00:13:30,782 --> 00:13:32,617
So what are you afraid of?

369
00:13:32,618 --> 00:13:35,887
Tons of things.
The dark. Being alone.

370
00:13:35,888 --> 00:13:39,290
Mixing up two black guys and
calling one by the wrong name,

371
00:13:39,291 --> 00:13:41,125
and everybody thinks
that I think

372
00:13:41,126 --> 00:13:42,592
that all black guys
look the same,

373
00:13:42,593 --> 00:13:44,828
when in reality they were
just wearing the same t-shirt

374
00:13:44,829 --> 00:13:46,062
and they have the same haircut,

375
00:13:46,063 --> 00:13:47,931
and no matter how hard
I try to explain it,

376
00:13:47,932 --> 00:13:49,635
I can't, and then
the next thing I know I'm...

377
00:13:49,636 --> 00:13:51,869
Turk! Turk!
Calm down.

378
00:13:51,870 --> 00:13:53,738
I won't leave you.

379
00:13:53,739 --> 00:13:55,406
Ugh.
Thanks, bro.

380
00:13:55,407 --> 00:13:57,041
But you have to listen to me.

381
00:13:57,042 --> 00:13:59,110
And stop calling me
fat and gay.

382
00:13:59,111 --> 00:14:00,444
[Sighs]
Fine.

383
00:14:00,445 --> 00:14:01,647
I'll stop calling you fat.

384
00:14:07,112 --> 00:14:08,113
♪ ♪

385
00:14:08,202 --> 00:14:10,536
Bayonne Bees!
Fight, fight, fight!

386
00:14:10,537 --> 00:14:12,872
Go, Bees!

387
00:14:12,873 --> 00:14:14,974
Bees? More like ds.

388
00:14:14,975 --> 00:14:18,678
That was my yearbook quote.

389
00:14:18,679 --> 00:14:20,114
Now if you'll excuse me,

390
00:14:20,115 --> 00:14:22,148
I'll be collecting everyone's
little car keys.

391
00:14:22,149 --> 00:14:24,450
Oh, Voneeta,
that's very responsible.

392
00:14:24,451 --> 00:14:26,919
No, I'm trying
to jumpstart this orgy.

393
00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:29,288
Guys, guys!
Shh! Guys.

394
00:14:29,289 --> 00:14:31,324
I'm gonna give you a secret.

395
00:14:31,325 --> 00:14:33,826
I love Teets!

396
00:14:33,827 --> 00:14:36,028
But I can't give her babies.

397
00:14:36,029 --> 00:14:38,031
I got no swimmers.

398
00:14:40,667 --> 00:14:43,703
I got to go.
It stinks over here.

399
00:14:43,704 --> 00:14:45,471
Uh, I don't know.

400
00:14:45,472 --> 00:14:47,440
Woodie, we're in the woods.

401
00:14:47,441 --> 00:14:49,442
We need to eat to survive,

402
00:14:49,443 --> 00:14:51,378
and, if it helps,
it's a delicacy in Cambodia.

403
00:14:51,379 --> 00:14:53,480
Okay.
I trust you, Wadska.

404
00:14:57,284 --> 00:14:58,283
Here's your half.

405
00:14:58,284 --> 00:14:59,286
Oh, I'll pass.

406
00:14:59,287 --> 00:15:01,254
I've got a Granola bar.

407
00:15:01,255 --> 00:15:04,023
[Snake hisses]
Ow! Son of a bitch!

408
00:15:04,024 --> 00:15:05,459
What?
Too many raisins?

409
00:15:05,460 --> 00:15:07,927
Yes. But I was also
just bitten by a snake.

410
00:15:07,928 --> 00:15:09,996
Oh, my God!
Are you okay?

411
00:15:09,997 --> 00:15:12,565
I will be.
I just need a little favor.

412
00:15:12,566 --> 00:15:15,101
Can you please suck the wound?

413
00:15:15,102 --> 00:15:16,903
On my thigh.

414
00:15:16,904 --> 00:15:18,004
Pass.

415
00:15:18,005 --> 00:15:20,139
Woodie, need I remind you

416
00:15:20,140 --> 00:15:23,910
that I saved you from a deadly
and delicious tarantula?

417
00:15:23,911 --> 00:15:27,980
You needed me.
Now I need you.

418
00:15:27,981 --> 00:15:30,116
Okay. I'll do it.

419
00:15:30,117 --> 00:15:34,220
Just don't make it weird.

420
00:15:34,221 --> 00:15:36,389
Get your hand off my head.

421
00:15:36,390 --> 00:15:39,525
[Animal growls]

422
00:15:39,526 --> 00:15:40,526
Aah!

423
00:15:40,527 --> 00:15:42,028
[Scoffs]
Of course.

424
00:15:42,029 --> 00:15:44,864
Turk chooses you.
The giant pig chooses you.

425
00:15:44,865 --> 00:15:46,100
Everybody loves Jeena.

426
00:15:46,101 --> 00:15:48,201
Aah!
He's gonna kill me.

427
00:15:48,202 --> 00:15:51,304
Uh, I don't think
he's interested in killing.

428
00:15:51,305 --> 00:15:53,339
It's, like, mating season.

429
00:15:53,340 --> 00:15:57,076
- Milan.
- Ugh! Fine.

430
00:15:57,077 --> 00:15:59,512
What are you doing?

431
00:15:59,513 --> 00:16:02,582
Oh.
You're good at that.

432
00:16:02,583 --> 00:16:05,852
I've had a lot of practice.

433
00:16:05,853 --> 00:16:07,253
I had a pot-bellied pig

434
00:16:07,254 --> 00:16:09,388
when it was, like,
cool to have them.

435
00:16:09,389 --> 00:16:12,125
It ran away, or we ate it,
or... I don't know.

436
00:16:12,126 --> 00:16:13,127
Thanks, Milan.

437
00:16:13,128 --> 00:16:15,661
That was very selfless of you.

438
00:16:15,662 --> 00:16:18,364
No big deal.
Like my mom always says,

439
00:16:18,365 --> 00:16:21,033
the easiest way to deal
with unwanted horniness

440
00:16:21,034 --> 00:16:22,236
is to rub it
until it goes away.

441
00:16:22,237 --> 00:16:24,003
[Laughter]

442
00:16:24,004 --> 00:16:26,105
Ah, balls!

443
00:16:26,106 --> 00:16:28,674
This is impossible!
We're gonna freeze!

444
00:16:28,675 --> 00:16:29,843
Dude, it's cool.

445
00:16:29,844 --> 00:16:31,978
You know, we can just
sleep next to each other

446
00:16:31,979 --> 00:16:33,247
for body warmth.

447
00:16:33,248 --> 00:16:36,250
That's actually a smart idea.

448
00:16:37,718 --> 00:16:40,686
Mondo, have you ever
seen brokeback Mountain?

449
00:16:40,687 --> 00:16:44,358
No.
Why would you ask me that?

450
00:17:01,408 --> 00:17:02,942
[Horn blows]

451
00:17:02,943 --> 00:17:04,911
Turk, it's a boat.

452
00:17:04,912 --> 00:17:07,046
I need to start a signal fire.

453
00:17:07,047 --> 00:17:10,516
[Grunts]
I can't do it!

454
00:17:10,517 --> 00:17:12,251
Come on, grundle gobbler!

455
00:17:12,252 --> 00:17:14,821
Sorry. Forgot.
I'm not supposed to insult you.

456
00:17:14,822 --> 00:17:17,056
No, your insults are helping.

457
00:17:17,057 --> 00:17:18,958
You're like a Drill Sergeant.

458
00:17:18,959 --> 00:17:21,393
Or an abusive dad that
I'm desperate to prove wrong.

459
00:17:21,394 --> 00:17:22,563
Keep 'em coming.

460
00:17:22,564 --> 00:17:24,831
Now it's Turk's time to shine.

461
00:17:24,832 --> 00:17:27,166
You look like an aborted
Oompa Loompa.

462
00:17:27,167 --> 00:17:28,734
You're gonna get diabetes.

463
00:17:28,735 --> 00:17:30,770
Your fat husband
will divorce you.

464
00:17:30,771 --> 00:17:32,573
You're gonna get into
an Ivy league school

465
00:17:32,574 --> 00:17:35,908
where the girls are intelligent
and only marginally attractive.

466
00:17:35,909 --> 00:17:38,245
Never!

467
00:17:40,681 --> 00:17:44,784
Whoa. You did it.
I love you, man.

468
00:17:44,785 --> 00:17:46,552
Okay, Turk.

469
00:17:46,553 --> 00:17:49,256
Hug's...
hug's kind of done now.

470
00:17:51,592 --> 00:17:53,025
Hey, you.

471
00:17:53,026 --> 00:17:54,594
[Gasps]
Let's go!

472
00:17:54,595 --> 00:17:55,696
Follow that smoke!

473
00:17:55,697 --> 00:17:57,865
Ugh!

474
00:17:59,366 --> 00:18:02,001
Typical.
They're all pigs.

475
00:18:02,002 --> 00:18:04,438
Jeena, look!

476
00:18:05,806 --> 00:18:07,007
What happened?

477
00:18:07,008 --> 00:18:09,142
Wadska got bit
by a poisonous snake.

478
00:18:09,143 --> 00:18:11,377
But Woodie went down on me.

479
00:18:11,378 --> 00:18:13,513
Let me finish.
To suck!

480
00:18:13,514 --> 00:18:16,349
Still talking.
Out the poison!

481
00:18:16,350 --> 00:18:18,751
Hooray for Woodie!

482
00:18:18,752 --> 00:18:20,219
Look. The boat.

483
00:18:20,220 --> 00:18:23,055
[Horn blows, all cheer]

484
00:18:23,056 --> 00:18:24,457
Hang on, everybody.

485
00:18:24,458 --> 00:18:28,327
We should all acknowledge
the person who made this fire.

486
00:18:28,328 --> 00:18:32,331
Me!
Turk! Turk! Turk!

487
00:18:32,332 --> 00:18:33,699
Thanks, Mondo.

488
00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:35,935
And the next time
I get stranded in the woods,

489
00:18:35,936 --> 00:18:37,370
I hope it's with you.

490
00:18:37,371 --> 00:18:38,504
[Boar roars]

491
00:18:38,505 --> 00:18:42,241
Oh, my God!

492
00:18:42,242 --> 00:18:44,478
Wait!

493
00:18:48,582 --> 00:18:51,317
Ooh! A truffle.
These are expensive.

494
00:18:51,318 --> 00:18:54,921
What?
I earned it.

495
00:18:54,922 --> 00:18:57,090
[Yawns]

496
00:19:00,861 --> 00:19:02,729
Ugh. Is this what we did
in high school?

497
00:19:02,730 --> 00:19:04,363
What were we thinking?

498
00:19:04,364 --> 00:19:07,300
Oh, crap. We got to go
pick up our kids.

499
00:19:07,301 --> 00:19:09,802
Voneeta, someone drew
all over your face.

500
00:19:09,803 --> 00:19:11,772
- Are they sweet wieners?
- Uh-huh.

501
00:19:11,773 --> 00:19:14,507
Yeah, I did those.

502
00:19:14,508 --> 00:19:17,443
Uh, aren't you gonna ask us
what happened to Claw?

503
00:19:17,444 --> 00:19:19,378
- [Claps]
- Holy [bleep].

504
00:19:19,379 --> 00:19:21,981
That's right.
It's me, Claw Jones.

505
00:19:21,982 --> 00:19:23,649
Back from the never dead.

506
00:19:23,650 --> 00:19:25,785
Now, usually after
I fake my own demise,

507
00:19:25,786 --> 00:19:27,954
I just hide in the woods
till the boat shows up

508
00:19:27,955 --> 00:19:30,357
so you guys can pop your nature
cherries on your own.

509
00:19:30,358 --> 00:19:31,958
Being kicked down
a mountainside

510
00:19:31,959 --> 00:19:33,827
into a river
and over a waterfall was,

511
00:19:33,828 --> 00:19:36,129
as they sometimes say,
a curveball.

512
00:19:36,130 --> 00:19:37,964
Dude, is that your femur?

513
00:19:37,965 --> 00:19:39,799
Yes.
Yes, it is my femur.

514
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:41,334
I'm gonna pass out now,

515
00:19:41,335 --> 00:19:42,969
but before I do...

516
00:19:42,970 --> 00:19:45,072
I'm proud of you children.

517
00:19:47,775 --> 00:19:51,277
Oh, I'm so glad to see you,
my little tech muffin.

518
00:19:51,278 --> 00:19:52,679
Did you have a good time?

519
00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:55,248
Mom, I finally lit a fire
all by myself.

520
00:19:55,249 --> 00:19:56,916
I knew you had it in you.

521
00:19:56,917 --> 00:20:00,820
And, look, I bought you that new
game system that you wanted.

522
00:20:00,821 --> 00:20:03,389
But I thought you wanted us
to stop using this stuff.

523
00:20:03,390 --> 00:20:05,192
Well, you know,
while you were gone,

524
00:20:05,193 --> 00:20:07,760
us parents realized
that when we were teenagers

525
00:20:07,761 --> 00:20:09,628
we didn't have
all this technology.

526
00:20:09,629 --> 00:20:10,697
You know, we spent our time

527
00:20:10,698 --> 00:20:14,934
getting sloppy, blackout...
Bored.

528
00:20:14,935 --> 00:20:17,970
Dude, this version's
got cop-killer bullets!

529
00:20:17,971 --> 00:20:19,206
Yeah, let's go back to my house

530
00:20:19,207 --> 00:20:20,940
and play until
we have seizures.

531
00:20:20,941 --> 00:20:23,910
Yeah, uh, why don't you guys
play at Woodie's?

532
00:20:23,911 --> 00:20:25,913
I got some cleaning up to do.

533
00:20:28,649 --> 00:20:32,819
[Groans]

534
00:20:32,820 --> 00:20:35,355
Oh, [bleep] my life.

535
00:20:35,380 --> 00:20:40,680
<font color="#3399CC">Synch and correct by MemoryOnSmells
www.addic7ed.com</font>