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17
00:00:53,450 --> 00:00:55,680
[Eyes blinking noise]

18
00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:57,780
""

19
00:00:57,780 --> 00:00:59,500
I know, I'll be safe, mom.

20
00:00:59,500 --> 00:01:01,110
You're a good child.

21
00:01:01,110 --> 00:01:01,770
[Mmmwaa]

22
00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:03,730
I trust your judgment.

23
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,630
- You pinned a condom
on me, didn't you?

24
00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:06,700
- What?

25
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:08,000
Those shorts
don't have pockets.

26
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:18,940
Synced by YesCool, corrected by tuxun
www.addic7ed.com

27
00:01:40,070 --> 00:01:43,840
- I have a business proposition
for you, woodford.

28
00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:46,700
- [sighs]

29
00:01:46,710 --> 00:01:50,010
- Mmm.

30
00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:51,240
- Didn't you just have
a cigar?

31
00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:53,510
- That was the cigar
before the cigar.

32
00:01:53,510 --> 00:01:54,980
You have a lot to learn,
son.

33
00:01:54,980 --> 00:01:57,220
That's why this week,
you're coming to work for me.

34
00:01:57,220 --> 00:01:59,850
- But this is my one week
to do nothing but surf.

35
00:01:59,850 --> 00:02:01,550
- Look, I'm not sure
if you're aware of this,

36
00:02:01,550 --> 00:02:03,120
But I took quite a bit
of flak

37
00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:05,020
For the company's last
commercial spot.

38
00:02:05,030 --> 00:02:06,520
At the stone corporation,

39
00:02:06,530 --> 00:02:08,830
We don't make
the breast implant.

40
00:02:08,830 --> 00:02:10,500
We make it larger.

41
00:02:10,500 --> 00:02:12,900
We don't make the
field-hockey stick.

44
00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:18,070
At the stone corporation,
we genuinely believe

45
00:02:18,070 --> 00:02:23,010
That we're making the world
a better place every day...

46
00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:25,840
By making it a little
easier on the eyes.

47
00:02:25,850 --> 00:02:28,250
Unfortunately, our profits
have been in decline

48
00:02:28,250 --> 00:02:29,710
Because of my public image.

49
00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:31,320
[grunting]

50
00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:32,380
That's a problem,

51
00:02:32,390 --> 00:02:33,950
And you're the solution.

52
00:02:33,950 --> 00:02:34,990
- Why me?

53
00:02:34,990 --> 00:02:36,490
- My shareholders will
shake hands

54
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,520
With the heir to my throne
and realize

55
00:02:38,530 --> 00:02:40,690
That I've built
a family company,

56
00:02:40,690 --> 00:02:46,230
That I have values, morals, and
a love for all living things.

57
00:02:46,230 --> 00:02:48,070
[animal shrieks]

58
00:02:48,070 --> 00:02:50,130
Picture us side-by-side,

59
00:02:50,140 --> 00:02:53,400
Father and son spending
quality time.

60
00:02:53,410 --> 00:02:54,670
- Sorry, dad.

61
00:02:54,670 --> 00:02:56,740
That doesn't sound like
quality time to me.

62
00:02:56,740 --> 00:02:58,680
- You're playing harall.
I respect that.

63
00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:03,280
But in my experience,
a no is just a delayed yes.

64
00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:05,380
[tires screech]

65
00:03:05,390 --> 00:03:08,690
- Spring break ladies,
show me your--

66
00:03:08,690 --> 00:03:11,320
[wind blows]

67
00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:12,590
Balls!

68
00:03:12,590 --> 00:03:14,590
- You okay, dude?
- No, woody.

69
00:03:14,590 --> 00:03:16,590
Where's all the easily
accessible booze,

70
00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:17,660
The drunk college girls,

71
00:03:17,660 --> 00:03:20,000
With their lowered sexual
standards?

72
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:23,030
I was supposed to be
statutory-raped this week!

73
00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:24,940
That was always the plan!

74
00:03:24,940 --> 00:03:27,610
- I hate to break it to you,
bro, but playa del toro

75
00:03:27,610 --> 00:03:30,170
Has never been a big spring
break destination.

76
00:03:30,180 --> 00:03:32,410
- Not true, muchachos.

77
00:03:32,410 --> 00:03:34,610
Let me show you something.

78
00:03:34,610 --> 00:03:39,820
Way before your time,
there was a year called 1992.

79
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:42,220
Public toilets didn't
flush themselves.

80
00:03:42,220 --> 00:03:45,420
You could wear a jean jacket
without looking gay.

81
00:03:45,430 --> 00:03:47,530
And, if you were so inclined,

82
00:03:47,530 --> 00:03:50,400
You could get absolutely
plastered on the beach,

83
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:52,830
Without waking up
in handcuffs!

84
00:03:52,830 --> 00:03:55,530
And it looked a little
like this.

85
00:03:55,540 --> 00:03:58,400
Or exactly like this,
because this is it, man.

86
00:03:58,410 --> 00:03:59,870
- That was here?

87
00:03:59,870 --> 00:04:01,810
- On the very same sand.

88
00:04:01,810 --> 00:04:04,480
- Why would they make it
illegal to drink on the beach?

89
00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:06,110
- I don't make the laws, boys.

90
00:04:06,110 --> 00:04:08,250
[inhales]

91
00:04:08,250 --> 00:04:10,150
I just live by them.

92
00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:13,080
[coughs]

93
00:04:13,090 --> 00:04:15,450
- Hey, boys!
- Mom?

94
00:04:15,460 --> 00:04:17,020
- Yeah, I'm going to
need that tape thing

95
00:04:17,020 --> 00:04:18,960
And the mysterious machine
that plays it.

96
00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:21,290
- Sure, help yourself
to whatever you want,

97
00:04:21,290 --> 00:04:23,900
Except for the commemorative
princess di plates.

98
00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:26,360
[tearful]
goodbye, England's rose.

99
00:04:26,370 --> 00:04:28,330
[cheering]

100
00:04:28,330 --> 00:04:29,570
- [retches]

101
00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:31,340
- That should have been me!

102
00:04:31,340 --> 00:04:32,700
- Dude, we have everything
we need

103
00:04:32,710 --> 00:04:36,040
For a kick-ass spring break
right here.

104
00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:39,310
We got tunes...
[radio dies]

105
00:04:39,310 --> 00:04:41,110
We got babes...

106
00:04:41,110 --> 00:04:44,950
And a warm matt's
semi-hard lemonade.

107
00:04:44,950 --> 00:04:46,980
Who am I kidding?
This is so--

108
00:04:46,990 --> 00:04:48,150
- Fantastic?

109
00:04:48,150 --> 00:04:50,720
Ooh!
Fit women and fine liquor.

110
00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:51,720
What a spread.

111
00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:53,360
You two know how to live.

112
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,930
May I join you?

113
00:04:55,930 --> 00:04:57,200
[police siren]

114
00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:59,400
- Is that an alcoholic
beverage on the beach?

115
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,230
- Oh, I'm so sorry,
officers.

116
00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:06,640
I had no idea I was in any
violation of--unh!

117
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,340
You'll never take
me alive, [bleep]!

118
00:05:09,340 --> 00:05:10,340
[vocalizing]

119
00:05:10,340 --> 00:05:11,680
[gun cocks]

120
00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:13,110
- Dude, are you kidding me?

121
00:05:13,110 --> 00:05:14,780
For underage drinking?

122
00:05:14,780 --> 00:05:16,010
- He's underage?

123
00:05:16,020 --> 00:05:17,920
That's a far more
serious offense.

124
00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:21,150
[rifle cocks]

125
00:05:21,150 --> 00:05:22,590
Well, beyond our jurisdiction.

126
00:05:22,590 --> 00:05:23,960
- You boys have a great day.

127
00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:25,960
Let's go do
some racial profiling.

128
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:27,690
- Unh!
Did you see that?

129
00:05:27,690 --> 00:05:30,130
The long arm of the law
reached for me

130
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:33,160
But I gave those officers
the reach-around!

131
00:05:33,170 --> 00:05:35,800
- What did they mean
by "jurisdiction"?

132
00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:37,440
- We've got to research this.

133
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:39,440
If only there was a place where
this kind of information

134
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,140
Was readily available
to the public.

135
00:05:41,140 --> 00:05:43,310
[phones beep]

136
00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:45,310
- Technically, there
are holes in the globe

137
00:05:45,310 --> 00:05:48,280
That don't fall under the law
of any one nation.

138
00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:50,210
- International waters.

139
00:05:50,220 --> 00:05:53,890
- So if we're floating
20 feet away from the shore--

140
00:05:53,890 --> 00:05:54,890
- We could do--

141
00:05:54,890 --> 00:05:59,220
- Whatever we damn well please.
[laughs]

142
00:05:59,230 --> 00:06:02,230
[groovy rock music]

143
00:06:02,230 --> 00:06:10,170
♪ ♪

144
00:06:10,900 --> 00:06:12,640
[police siren]

145
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,140
- We did a little research.

146
00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:17,310
According to howstuffworks.Com,
you boys are still subject

147
00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:18,880
To the laws of this coastline.

148
00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:20,580
- Read this, lawmen!

149
00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:23,710
"on the open seas, a vessel
is subject to the laws

150
00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:25,880
Of the country's flag
it flies."

151
00:06:25,890 --> 00:06:27,590
- And in jamaica...

152
00:06:27,590 --> 00:06:31,360
[jamaican accent] there be no
drinking age at all, man.

153
00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:34,360
[reggae music]

154
00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:35,690
♪ ♪

155
00:06:35,700 --> 00:06:37,060
- Posted.

156
00:06:37,060 --> 00:06:39,600
Just changed my status
on facebook to "legally drunk."

157
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,570
- Does jeena check
your facebook page?

158
00:06:41,570 --> 00:06:43,670
- It's legal to drink
off the shore?

159
00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:45,770
- Can't hear you over
the racehorse, baby.

160
00:06:45,770 --> 00:06:47,070
I'll be out in a minute.
[laughs]

161
00:06:47,070 --> 00:06:48,840
- And jeena's friends with...

162
00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:50,210
- A party in the ocean?

163
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:51,880
And they laughed
when I paid $11,000

164
00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:54,180
For a louis vuitton
inner tube.

165
00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:57,850
- And milan is friends
with everyone!

166
00:06:57,850 --> 00:06:59,820
[music plays over ultrasound]
- ♪ baby baby baby oh ♪

167
00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:01,650
- It's definitely a boy.

168
00:07:01,650 --> 00:07:04,220
[phone rings]

169
00:07:04,220 --> 00:07:05,390
- Ignore?

170
00:07:05,390 --> 00:07:07,260
That's even ruder
than not answering.

171
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:11,130
[phones ringing]

172
00:07:11,130 --> 00:07:14,170
[reggae music]

173
00:07:14,170 --> 00:07:19,440
♪ ♪

174
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:20,770
- Get the beads.

175
00:07:22,010 --> 00:07:22,010
+

176
00:07:23,140 --> 00:07:25,140
- Five quarters
and a yellow sweet tart.

177
00:07:25,150 --> 00:07:28,750
- Oh, I should have known
open mic night was a mistake.

178
00:07:28,750 --> 00:07:31,120
- So I was flying
on an airplane last week

179
00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:34,120
And the person who was
in the seat next to me...

180
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,660
[belches]

181
00:07:35,660 --> 00:07:37,290
Was me.

182
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,490
- I don't think that's it.

183
00:07:39,490 --> 00:07:40,960
- It's called "floatopia,"

184
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:44,130
And it could be the biggest
spring break party of all time.

185
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:45,930
Apparently the founding
fathers of the event

186
00:07:45,930 --> 00:07:49,270
Are these three students from
playa del toro high school.

187
00:07:49,270 --> 00:07:51,500
- Mondo?

188
00:07:51,510 --> 00:07:53,340
[cheering]

189
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:56,910
[scattered groans]

190
00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:57,910
- Hello!

191
00:07:57,910 --> 00:07:59,950
- [disgusted grunt]

192
00:07:59,950 --> 00:08:02,050
[phone rings]
- hey, ma. It's amazing!

193
00:08:02,050 --> 00:08:03,380
A girl did a body shot
off me,

194
00:08:03,390 --> 00:08:06,950
It tickled, and now I'm
a little sticky, but I loved it.

195
00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:09,860
- It sounds like it's time
for some stern parenting.

196
00:08:09,860 --> 00:08:11,860
Don't you think?

197
00:08:11,860 --> 00:08:14,490
- Whoo! Why are
clothes still on?

198
00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:16,960
- Well, okay,
I'm a little worried,

199
00:08:16,970 --> 00:08:19,400
But I'm going to trust
you on this one, honey.

200
00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:23,900
- Hi!

201
00:08:23,910 --> 00:08:25,940
- [frustrated sigh]
why does that weird little kid

202
00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:28,140
Have so many sexy
bathing suits?

203
00:08:28,140 --> 00:08:31,110
[party music]

204
00:08:31,110 --> 00:08:39,050
♪ ♪

205
00:08:42,660 --> 00:08:44,060
[cheering]

206
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:52,500
- Chip off the old brock.

207
00:08:52,500 --> 00:08:54,000
[cheering]

208
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,940
- Mondo, this is the most
amazing party I've ever seen.

209
00:08:56,940 --> 00:08:58,440
- Look around.

210
00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:01,710
No cops, no teachers, no rules,
no suggested serving sizes.

211
00:09:01,710 --> 00:09:04,410
This isn't just a party,
it's paradise!

212
00:09:04,410 --> 00:09:06,510
- Think you could
give me a tour?

213
00:09:06,510 --> 00:09:07,910
- This is the fun zone.

214
00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:09,450
There's activities
for everyone.

215
00:09:09,450 --> 00:09:11,120
Wet t-shirt contests...

216
00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:12,450
[cheering]

217
00:09:12,450 --> 00:09:13,450
Arts and crafts...

218
00:09:13,460 --> 00:09:15,760
[cheering]

219
00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:17,390
Or headier pursuits.

220
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,830
- This ancient city
was sunk by the gods

221
00:09:19,830 --> 00:09:22,660
For it's unchecked
arrogance and debauchery.

222
00:09:22,660 --> 00:09:24,000
- What is--
[scream]

223
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:25,000
[cheering]

224
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,130
- That's not fair.

225
00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:27,130
She didn't even get
a chance to--

226
00:09:27,140 --> 00:09:28,130
[cheering]

227
00:09:28,140 --> 00:09:29,740
[laughter]

228
00:09:29,740 --> 00:09:33,870
- We also have snorkeling taught
by our resident raft-afarian.

229
00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:35,240
Believe it or not,

230
00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:37,710
This counts as course credit
at uc santa cruz.

231
00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:38,950
- What about bathrooms?

232
00:09:38,950 --> 00:09:40,310
- Last tube on your right.

233
00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:41,650
[plop]

234
00:09:41,650 --> 00:09:43,320
- I have to hand it you,
mondo.

235
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:44,780
You thought of everything.

236
00:09:44,790 --> 00:09:46,350
Everyone's having a blast.

237
00:09:46,350 --> 00:09:48,450
- They're touching me
everywhere, dude.

238
00:09:48,460 --> 00:09:49,560
Everywhere!

239
00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:51,460
- Whoo!
[laughs]

240
00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:54,230
- Now this is
titillating conversation.

241
00:09:54,230 --> 00:09:56,460
- Maybe some people
are having too much fun.

242
00:09:56,460 --> 00:09:58,030
What the hell are you doing?

243
00:09:58,030 --> 00:09:59,600
- I'll be right back,
ladies.

244
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,000
Feel free to keep drinking.

245
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,240
What are you
so mad about, jeena?

246
00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:05,200
We're in a land relationship.

247
00:10:05,210 --> 00:10:07,810
I could never commit to being
in anything exclusive

248
00:10:07,810 --> 00:10:09,440
On the open seas.

249
00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:11,710
- Yeah, well, maybe we shouldn't
be in any relationship at all.

250
00:10:11,710 --> 00:10:13,910
And you're gross.

251
00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:19,190
- [slow motion] no!

252
00:10:19,190 --> 00:10:20,590
- Not cool, jeena.

253
00:10:20,590 --> 00:10:22,590
That was a major party foul.

254
00:10:22,590 --> 00:10:24,860
We're almost out of booze.

255
00:10:24,860 --> 00:10:27,890
- Is it true?

256
00:10:27,900 --> 00:10:29,660
- Even the boxed
wine is gone, dude.

257
00:10:29,660 --> 00:10:30,860
- What are we going to do?

258
00:10:30,870 --> 00:10:33,700
People are going to sober up.

259
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:37,140
- Aw, are those
freckles or pimples?

260
00:10:37,140 --> 00:10:41,010
- Uh, you have gingivitis.

261
00:10:41,010 --> 00:10:43,080
- Whoa, you're a shark?

262
00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:44,740
- Oh, this is
about to get ugly.

263
00:10:44,750 --> 00:10:47,310
We need beer for 2,000
delivered in 2 minutes!

264
00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:48,350
It's impossible.

265
00:10:48,350 --> 00:10:49,820
[boat horn]

266
00:10:49,820 --> 00:10:51,680
All: Shartz! Shartz!
Shartz! Shartz!

267
00:10:51,690 --> 00:10:53,750
- Is there a mr. Stone here?

268
00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:56,560
I was told he would
be my contact.

269
00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:58,990
- I guess I'm mr. Stone.

270
00:10:58,990 --> 00:11:01,690
- Well then, shall we
talk some business?

271
00:11:01,700 --> 00:11:05,770
- I'm being molested!
I love my life!

272
00:11:06,810 --> 00:11:06,810
+

273
00:11:09,420 --> 00:11:11,320
- Corporate transportation,

274
00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:13,590
Key to the corporate suite
onboard,

275
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:16,460
And your corporate sunglasses.

276
00:11:16,460 --> 00:11:17,460
- Two pairs?

277
00:11:17,460 --> 00:11:18,930
- You'll figure it out.

278
00:11:18,930 --> 00:11:21,730
Now all I ask of you
is for one signature

279
00:11:21,730 --> 00:11:26,000
Making shartz the official
beverage of floatopia.

280
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,000
[evil laugh ringtone]

281
00:11:28,010 --> 00:11:29,970
Sorry, thought that
was on vibrate.

282
00:11:29,970 --> 00:11:31,270
Well done.

283
00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:33,180
We've been trying to find a way
to supply alcohol

284
00:11:33,180 --> 00:11:36,180
To underage teens
for decades.

285
00:11:36,180 --> 00:11:39,050
- [blows whistle]

286
00:11:39,050 --> 00:11:41,850
[cheering]

287
00:11:43,190 --> 00:11:45,620
- Ah!

288
00:11:45,620 --> 00:11:48,490
[shells firing]

289
00:11:48,490 --> 00:11:51,490
[party music]

290
00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:53,600
♪ ♪

291
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:55,600
- Mom, why are you
calling me at work?

292
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:56,800
- Honey, I want to trust you,

293
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:57,930
But it seems like
things are getting

294
00:11:57,940 --> 00:11:59,700
A little out of control
out there.

295
00:11:59,700 --> 00:12:00,900
- Everything's fine.

296
00:12:00,910 --> 00:12:02,910
I'm in the weeds here.
I got to go.

297
00:12:02,910 --> 00:12:05,210
- [slurring]
just screw turk.

298
00:12:05,210 --> 00:12:07,740
He can't have this.

299
00:12:07,750 --> 00:12:09,810
[swallows vomit]

300
00:12:09,810 --> 00:12:13,150
- Uh, I think we should
get you some rest.

301
00:12:13,150 --> 00:12:15,920
You know, as soon as woody gets
back to take over the bar,

302
00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:19,290
We're going to find a place
for you to lie down, okay?

303
00:12:19,290 --> 00:12:22,560
- You're the best, mondo.

304
00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:27,360
Your face is sweet
and round like a milk dud.

305
00:12:27,370 --> 00:12:29,670
[beep]

306
00:12:29,670 --> 00:12:33,400
- Whoa.

307
00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:36,370
Whoa!

308
00:12:36,370 --> 00:12:41,140
[engine revs]
whoa!

309
00:12:41,150 --> 00:12:42,910
- Where'd you get
all that new stuff?

310
00:12:42,910 --> 00:12:44,080
- Corporate suite.

311
00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:45,480
- Well, that's awesome.

312
00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:47,450
Hey, would you mind
covering the bar?

313
00:12:47,450 --> 00:12:49,020
I've been on duty all night.

314
00:12:49,020 --> 00:12:51,750
- Is that all you got,
lohan?

315
00:12:57,330 --> 00:13:01,000
- I'm going to go
get you some water, okay?

316
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,470
Hmm.

317
00:13:03,470 --> 00:13:05,740
Weird.

318
00:13:05,740 --> 00:13:07,200
Now that doesn't
even make sense.

319
00:13:07,210 --> 00:13:08,970
How is that cleansing?

320
00:13:08,970 --> 00:13:11,810
Sorry, jeena, for some reason
even the shower doesn't--

321
00:13:11,810 --> 00:13:13,710
Oh, my god!

322
00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:17,580
- Want to take a nap
with me?

323
00:13:17,580 --> 00:13:19,450
- You're cleared
for takeoff, captain.

324
00:13:19,450 --> 00:13:21,220
Right into
the friendly thighs!

325
00:13:21,220 --> 00:13:23,220
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!

326
00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:24,620
- [frenzied moans]

327
00:13:24,620 --> 00:13:26,520
- Seriously?
- What?

328
00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:28,360
This [bleep] doesn't happen
to us every day.

329
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:31,690
Don't be such a pussy.

330
00:13:31,700 --> 00:13:36,000
- So what's
it going to be, mondo?

331
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,870
- [sighs]

332
00:13:37,870 --> 00:13:42,510
We're going to go
get you some water.

333
00:13:42,510 --> 00:13:44,940
- I think your boobs
are softer than mine.

334
00:13:44,940 --> 00:13:46,110
- Thanks, I guess.

335
00:13:46,110 --> 00:13:50,250
I use jojoba oil.

336
00:13:50,250 --> 00:13:52,050
Whoa.

337
00:13:52,050 --> 00:13:55,650
- Want me to blow up
your raft for you, baby?

338
00:13:55,650 --> 00:13:59,420
- Whoa!

339
00:13:59,420 --> 00:14:02,060
Whoa.

340
00:14:02,060 --> 00:14:03,460
I was wrong, mom.

341
00:14:03,460 --> 00:14:05,330
Floatopia is out of control.

342
00:14:05,330 --> 00:14:07,500
It's a horrible place
and it's all my fault.

343
00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:09,230
What am I supposed to do now?

344
00:14:09,230 --> 00:14:11,230
- Well, anyone can walk
away from a problem,

345
00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:12,370
But it takes a bigger person

346
00:14:12,370 --> 00:14:14,370
To walk back in
and to make it right.

347
00:14:14,370 --> 00:14:15,640
- Where'd you hear that?

348
00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:17,340
- Snapple cap.

349
00:14:17,340 --> 00:14:19,140
Don't worry.
I'll take care of her.

350
00:14:19,140 --> 00:14:20,610
Look, if I had a dollar
for every time

351
00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:23,250
I've been naked,
passed out on a beach I--

352
00:14:23,250 --> 00:14:25,180
I--
I'd have $3.

353
00:14:25,180 --> 00:14:26,680
Look, I'll go
get her some water.

354
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:28,380
- [belches]

355
00:14:28,390 --> 00:14:30,490
- And a toothbrush.

356
00:14:30,490 --> 00:14:32,790
I am going to make this right.

357
00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:37,330
- What did you bring me
up here for?

358
00:14:37,330 --> 00:14:40,030
Now my shirt is all sweaty
from all that walking, dude.

359
00:14:40,030 --> 00:14:41,860
Not cool.
This is vintage.

360
00:14:41,870 --> 00:14:45,130
- What's happened to you,
man?

361
00:14:45,140 --> 00:14:47,700
How many pairs of those
do you have?

362
00:14:47,710 --> 00:14:50,170
- What am I supposed to do with
a picture of spencer pratt?

363
00:14:50,170 --> 00:14:54,480
- No, man.
That's you.

364
00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:55,810
It's all right, woody.

365
00:14:55,810 --> 00:14:57,880
We've all lost
a little perspective.

366
00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:00,120
Look at this place.

367
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:01,850
- Performing what?

368
00:15:01,850 --> 00:15:04,320
- We have to fix this.

369
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,590
Party people
of floatopia,

370
00:15:06,590 --> 00:15:07,660
May I have your attention?

371
00:15:07,660 --> 00:15:09,330
Thank you.

372
00:15:09,330 --> 00:15:11,330
We're drunk, sunburned,

373
00:15:11,330 --> 00:15:13,630
And making all sorts
of bad decisions.

374
00:15:13,630 --> 00:15:15,130
Look how low we've sunk.

375
00:15:15,130 --> 00:15:18,700
For christ's sake,
john gosselin is here!

376
00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:22,200
At the very least,
lets start recycling our trash

377
00:15:22,210 --> 00:15:25,440
And find a way to enjoy
floatopia safely.

378
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:26,510
- Those sound like...

379
00:15:26,510 --> 00:15:29,450
Rules!
[crowd gasps]

380
00:15:29,450 --> 00:15:31,280
Bring me those traitors!

381
00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:33,680
[overlapping shouting]

382
00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:35,790
- What's the worst thing
they could do to us?

383
00:15:35,790 --> 00:15:36,890
[flies buzzing]

384
00:15:36,890 --> 00:15:39,050
Wadska, we started
this together!

385
00:15:39,060 --> 00:15:40,690
- Don't push us through
the poop, dude!

386
00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:45,560
- Oh, I'm sorry, fellas,
but you broke the only rule.

387
00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:46,700
[screang]

388
00:15:46,700 --> 00:15:51,170
There are no rules
on floatopia!

389
00:15:51,170 --> 00:15:53,270
- Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

390
00:15:53,270 --> 00:15:56,070
- Febreeze probably isn't
going to get this out?

391
00:15:56,070 --> 00:15:58,940
- Floatopia is going down!

392
00:15:59,250 --> 00:15:59,250
+

393
00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:04,970
- Behold the tallest stripper
pole in the world!

394
00:16:04,970 --> 00:16:08,040
[cheering]

395
00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:09,080
- Look at that place.

396
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:10,080
That's not just
a couple of rafts.

397
00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:11,480
That's an empire!

398
00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:13,610
It would take an army
to take that thing down.

399
00:16:13,620 --> 00:16:14,820
It's impossible.

400
00:16:14,820 --> 00:16:16,420
- Maybe it's not.

401
00:16:16,420 --> 00:16:18,420
- [laughs] you must be joking.

402
00:16:18,420 --> 00:16:19,420
Take it down?

403
00:16:19,420 --> 00:16:21,360
That place is a cash cow.

404
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:23,320
Who do you think
owns shartz beer?

405
00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:25,430
- [gasps]
since when?

406
00:16:25,430 --> 00:16:27,760
- Since the second
you started floatopia.

407
00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:30,500
- So I work for...You?

408
00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:33,870
- I tried to tell you,
no is just a delayed yes.

409
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,170
Kid'll never learn.

410
00:16:40,180 --> 00:16:42,640
- [sighs]
I guess...That's it.

411
00:16:42,650 --> 00:16:43,640
We lose.

412
00:16:43,650 --> 00:16:45,550
- Perhaps I can be of service.

413
00:16:45,550 --> 00:16:46,850
- What happened to you?

414
00:16:46,850 --> 00:16:49,780
- Well, after I exported
you two from floatopia,

415
00:16:49,790 --> 00:16:52,820
Turk declared himself
supreme leader of anarchy.

416
00:16:52,820 --> 00:16:54,520
I pointed out
the irony in that.

417
00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:56,690
Turns out turk hates irony.

418
00:16:56,690 --> 00:16:58,190
[screams]

419
00:16:58,190 --> 00:16:59,260
Just kidding.

420
00:16:59,260 --> 00:17:01,100
That spot's surprisingly
hairless.

421
00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:03,730
I say we sink that place
to the bottom of the ocean!

422
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:07,770
- All right.

423
00:17:07,770 --> 00:17:09,670
Structurally, here is where
it's at its weakest.

424
00:17:09,670 --> 00:17:12,170
That bar was never designed
to hold the weight

425
00:17:12,180 --> 00:17:13,340
Of all that liquor.

426
00:17:13,340 --> 00:17:15,280
- Uh, how are we
getting out there?

427
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:17,650
- As quickly as we can.

428
00:17:17,650 --> 00:17:19,610
[siren blares]

429
00:17:24,090 --> 00:17:25,390
Don't look at me like that.

430
00:17:25,390 --> 00:17:28,660
She was a skilled warrior.

431
00:17:28,660 --> 00:17:30,990
- Mondo, you know that's
a jockstrap, right?

432
00:17:30,990 --> 00:17:34,260
- Yep, it's an extra large.

433
00:17:34,260 --> 00:17:35,660
- I just wanted to thank you.

434
00:17:35,670 --> 00:17:39,800
On floatopia,
I was really...Vulnerable.

435
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:42,370
So drunk.
So horny.

436
00:17:42,370 --> 00:17:43,970
I mean,
I would have done anything.

437
00:17:43,970 --> 00:17:46,910
And you didn't
take advantage of me.

438
00:17:50,210 --> 00:17:53,780
You're a really
good guy, mondo.

439
00:17:53,780 --> 00:17:56,780
- Just so you know, if the
situation were ever reversed,

440
00:17:56,790 --> 00:18:02,090
Please, please feel free
to take advantage of me!

441
00:18:02,090 --> 00:18:05,260
- Everyone, take your marks.

442
00:18:05,260 --> 00:18:06,760
- Ready.
- Ready.

443
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:08,000
- Ready.

444
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,330
- Mom?

445
00:18:09,330 --> 00:18:10,930
Why didn't anyone tell me
that she was involved?

446
00:18:10,930 --> 00:18:13,070
- Because you never would
have agreed to this.

447
00:18:13,070 --> 00:18:15,240
- Phase one, now!

448
00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:16,370
- Aged to what?

449
00:18:16,370 --> 00:18:20,840
What is she going to do?

450
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:22,310
- Sound the alarm.

451
00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:24,450
- [over speakers]
♪ this place about to blow ♪

452
00:18:24,450 --> 00:18:28,350
- Dude, that's not the alarm,
that's the new kesha album.

453
00:18:28,350 --> 00:18:30,380
What, are you trying
to kill us all?

454
00:18:30,390 --> 00:18:31,650
[alarm blares]

455
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:39,930
[explosions]

456
00:18:39,930 --> 00:18:44,170
- Phase two, now!

457
00:18:44,170 --> 00:18:45,770
- Time to go to work, girls.

458
00:18:45,770 --> 00:18:47,740
Hey, boys!

459
00:18:47,740 --> 00:18:49,970
[men gasp]

460
00:18:49,970 --> 00:18:51,040
- Mom!

461
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:54,880
Oh, my god!
Stop that!

462
00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:56,910
- Fight it, woody!
Fight it!

463
00:18:56,910 --> 00:18:58,710
- Oh, god.

464
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,450
- Practically there, mom.
All good.

465
00:19:00,450 --> 00:19:04,090
Time to lower the shirt
and get me some therapy.

466
00:19:07,420 --> 00:19:08,420
[gunfire]

467
00:19:08,420 --> 00:19:10,660
- I can't hang on!

468
00:19:10,660 --> 00:19:13,030
- I got you dude!

469
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:29,680
- Did you really think
that this entire place

470
00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:32,850
Could be sunk with one little--
[rubber pops]

471
00:19:32,850 --> 00:19:34,250
[explosions]

472
00:19:34,250 --> 00:19:36,050
[steel drums]

473
00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:39,150
No!

474
00:19:41,620 --> 00:19:42,620
[boat horn]

475
00:19:42,630 --> 00:19:44,160
[explosion]

476
00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:46,190
- Still got it.

477
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:47,700
- Aw, that was awesome,
you know,

478
00:19:47,700 --> 00:19:50,200
Except for the part where
everyone saw my mom's tits.

479
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:51,700
I hated that part.

480
00:19:51,700 --> 00:19:53,470
- Was this your doing?

481
00:19:53,470 --> 00:19:54,840
- Sorry, dad.

482
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:56,600
I know it's probably going to
cost you a lot of money,

483
00:19:56,610 --> 00:19:58,070
But it was the right
thing to do.

484
00:19:58,070 --> 00:19:59,470
- Cost me money?

485
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:02,210
No, this is actually
going to make me money.

486
00:20:02,210 --> 00:20:03,840
Who do you think
owns the company

487
00:20:03,850 --> 00:20:06,380
That the town will have to hire
to clean this mess up?

488
00:20:06,380 --> 00:20:09,050
You've saved
my public image as well!

489
00:20:09,050 --> 00:20:12,990
Unfortunately, your
public image is a mess, so...

490
00:20:12,990 --> 00:20:14,520
I'm going to have to
let you go.

491
00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:15,590
- I'm fired?

492
00:20:15,590 --> 00:20:17,490
[tires screech]

493
00:20:17,490 --> 00:20:22,930
Sweet, three days of
spring break left to surf!

494
00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:25,630
- Maybe some rules exist
for a reason.

495
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:28,700
- Yeah, I'm never drinking
on a beach again.

496
00:20:28,710 --> 00:20:31,040
- Have you learned nothing?

497
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:34,080
[laughs maniacally]

498
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:36,340
- I got him, sarge.

499
00:20:36,350 --> 00:20:39,910
[gunshot]

500
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:49,920
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