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Kevin Heffernan

Chief Terry McConky

Steve Lemme

Captain Eddie Penisi

Hassie Harrison

Lucy McConky

Marcus Henderson

Granville “Granny” Smith

Gabriel Hogan

Ike Crystal

Eugene Cordero

Andy Parrish

Heather Mazur

Vicky

Paul Soter

Snak-a-ton / Wolf Boykins

Suzy Nakamura

Linda Price

Buck Heffernan

Hunter

Maria Russell

Lt Salazar / Lt. Salazar

Dennis Gubbins

Blammo the Clown / Waiter

Joe Pantoliano

Eddie Penisi Sr. / Eddie Penisi, Sr

James Paxton

Gene

Tammy Tavares

Jean

Michelle Ortiz

Ophelia

Noureen DeWulf

Donna

Inga Cadranel

Fitzpatrick / Inferna

Alexie Gilmore

Hunter's Mom

Phil Hudson

"JP" The Nogger / Phil

Jamie Kaler

Captain Polonsky

Michael Yurchak

Ken Walthers

Celeste Pechous

Laura

Martin Starr

Tothar

Maria Edible

Penny

Nat Faxon

Frenchie

Sofia Ghavami

Dance Instructor

Damion Poitier

Manager

Brett Davis

Shorty

Jeff Pierre

Captain Tad

Pierson Fodé

Jan Damme

Gabrielle Lane

Jenny

Tyler Perez

Miles Longpeter

James Grace

Santa Joe

Natisha Anderson

Mrs. Santa

Randy Liedtke

Tripping Santa

Jared Wernick

Sweater Guy

Stephen Stanton

Pipey (voice)

Andrew Hawtrey

Dad

Corwin Allard

Tween

Victor Samuel Lopez

Eyeball Guy

David Ury

Buffalo Phil

Nelson Cheng

Bloody Stump Guy

Diane Mizota

Reporter

Lee Jones

Executioner

Roy Jenkins

Dentist

Kimia Behpoornia

CEO

Anna Lamadrid

Marketing Exec

Stipe Miocic

Stipe

Candace Smith

Rosa Roberts

Pam Trotter

Nurse

J. Rene Pena

Female Patron

Nathan Dana Aldrich

Male Patron

Sean Patrick Bryan

Firefighter

Whitney Cummings

Courtney

Tor Brown

Male Bystander

David Shreibman

Eddie Double Dance

Carl W. Crudup

Elderly Man

Bret Ernst

Captain Palantonio

Carlos Lemme

Kid

Ryan Barnett

Puppeteer

Flula Borg

Antonin Aroma

Amanda Fields

Showgirl

Jessica Lowe

Delilah

Jon Rudnitsky

Jerry Jr

Yasmine Aker

Anita Worthy

Gillian Vigman

Felicity

Helena Mattsson

Ulsa

Beth Dover

CeCe

Kassandra Mahea

Olive

David Koechner

Bernard Spatchcock

Abigaille Ozrey

Twin #1

Emily Ozrey

Twin #2

Madison McGraw

Twin #3

Amiyah McGraw

Twin #4

Robert Costanzo

Enzo

Nicole Andrews

Gina

Taylor Krasne

Teenage Girl

Jim Rash

CEO Frank Drake

Suzanne Gutierrez

Frantic Woman

Karina Wolfe

Wendy