Announcer reveals that the Queen will be watching this show; Royal credits; Royal Episode 13: 1st spoof, coal miners argue over historical dates; newsreader; The Toad Elevating Moment features a man who says things in a roundabout way, a man who speaks the ends of words, a man who says the beginning of words and a man who says ends of words; animation- dragon with bad breath, Crelm toothpaste, concrete truss; how to feed goldfish by an irresponsible man; tape recorder in a bush, a waiter and Herbert Mendel: a man who collects birdwatcher's eggs, butterfly catchers and races pigeon fanciers; animation- Spiny Norman, bomber and Madonna; insurance sketch; Queen tunes in and out; doctors discourage lying around hospital by patients; exploding `Blue Danube Waltz'; dorm at a girl's public school; high school girls re-enact invasion of Normandy, housewives in a submarine; animation- the firing of Mrs. Nesbitt; letter of protest; sailors in a lifeboat discuss who's for dinner; letter of protes