Hamlet by William Shakespeare, Act One; Hamlet pulls up in car; Hamlet on couch being interviewed by several different psychiatrists `You've got this great looking bird, her legs are up on the mantle piece...'; Dr. Bruce Genuine comments; computer psychiatrist interviews Hamlet; computer is launched and blown up; Nationwide looks at comfortable chairs, policemen accosts Nationwide reporter & others and talks about helmets, couple making love on the street; couple in bed with her father; credits; group of people in bed watching Hamlet; animation- paratroopers; a decapitated boxer's locker room; hospital workers listen to fight on radio; Mrs. Gorilla & Mrs. Non-Gorilla talk about piston engines; Mrs. Non-Smoker feeds the birds large quantities of food and talks to Mrs. Smoker about piston engines; Act Two- A Room in Polonius's House; live from Epsom, The Queen Victoria's Handicap; Several Queen Victoria's talk about soccer; animation- boy flying with balloons; Act Five- A Ham in the Cast